Chav can be a noun, verb or an adjective. As in “you shitty scum chav”, or “Hey I like the way you have chavved up ya car/wardrobe/lifestyle/language” etc.
The origins of the word itself are unclear and there are a few theories, perhaps all of them correct. Nonetheless, the current criteria for being a chav applies as laid out in this dictionary and no doubt, as culture dumbs-down even more, the definition will need to be updated. Chavs will no doubt eventually, despite their in-bred lack of intelligence, cotton-on to the fact that burberry and it’s current associations foster great hatred and negativity amongst the majority of the population. This factor however, could backfire, as Chavs could consider the perpetuation of hatred and negativity as a great contribution to humanity, even if it is directed towards themselves from others.
The most recent example of a celebrity Chav is Kenzie in Big Brother. (I can’t remember the name of the boy-band he is in – so uncool – but I know it had the word “Crew” or “Squad” whatever, in the name). In fact, Kenzie actually said “no” initially to being in the BB house, but when he thought long and hard about it, decided to say yes as the word “brother” as in, “bruv-va” or “bruv” for short, sounded cool and he thought it would really do wonders for his street-cred. Kenzie is actually white, but to see his clothes and hear him speak, you would think he is black.
Chavism represents a cultural link with the Trailer Park Trash in The States which is actually a sub-culture of black America. They both inspire each other. The lower the common denominator they appeal to, the cooler they are! Both of these cultural factions are represented by the highly evolved people picked to appear on the “Jerry Springer” show. Due to the speed of the transmission of information in modern times ex. Internet, TV etc, cultures very quickly pick up bits from other cultures, bounce off each other, and this happens at such a rate that no-one exactly knows who originated what. But as society has evolved, and that is the key word, “evolved”, chavism did not happen overnight but evolved as culture dumbed-down and it became clear that it was not “cool” to aspire to anything other than basic animal appetites (for junk food, sex, cheap bling etc). Perhaps devolved is a better word!
Jordan is the ultimate aspiration of female Chavs. She is actually much more stupid than the average Chavette which is why they (chavettes) admire her so much. She is actually now trying to pull herself out of the Chav-pit she has made for herself by writing a book about herself, no doubt mostly really ghost-written by someone else, paid for from the proceeds of all the modelling jobs she has done which evolve around her flubber-inflated chest (but isn’t she a great business woman- fuckin what?), and is trying to appear in “serious” programmes such as Book Award Ceremonies. Unfortunately, she is still seriously boring as she has neglected her mind in favour of her chest , hoping that the more silicone she has pumped into those tits, the more self-esteem and intelligenceshe will attain and therefore rather than work hard and learn, just go see the surgeon again. Easy!! Her tits have now become self-funding entities (get it?) in their own right.
So my good friends, that is my input.
Chavette 1 - I nikked dis 'ello mag from da doc's....it's got Jordan and Peter pics innnit!
Chavette 2 - wikked innit....didja get ya tablets sorted for dat smell cumming from ya minge?
Humanoid in appearance, but primative and animalistic in nature, chavs are fast becoming the bane of humanity. Now all but classified as a completely seperate species, chavs took the left of the fork on the road of evolution when everybody else went right. Today, chavs can be seen in almost every urban area of Britain. Easily identified by either their baseball caps, hooped sports sweaters, excess Burberry and impossibly colourful Nike trainers (male) or scraped back frizzy hair, earrings you could train a dolphin to jump through, cheap leggings and Reebok Classics (female), chavs hunt in packs. Unlike other species, chavs hunt for cigarettes and bus fare instead of food. Food is always obtained at fast food establishments such as McDonalds, or convenience stores (Spar, Late Shop). It is quite common for food to be thrown instead of eaten, with the chav preferring his / her fags and cider / Lambrini (charver cava). Chavs are normally hostile towards humans, particularly those who favour alternative music, whom they have branded "moshers" or "grungers". A chav's music collection is limited. Hip-hop and hardcore for the males, Britney and trance for the females. Dogs (the more volatile, the better), mobile phones, cheap or fake gold and "souped-up" (debadged) 1990's Vauxhall Novas are must-have accessories. Note: the above description typifies the average chav, but there are actually quite a few varieties. Be sure to look for them at any of the following location...more...
They enjoy partaking in antisocial behavior,
They enjoy white lightening
They tuck their tracksuits into their socks to save money if they become ankle swingers,
They are more hated than any other social group in the UK
Lets stand on a street corner and drink white lightening while shouting abuse at some old lady through a stolen traffic cone
A person who A) Wears tracksuits at all times, fake Burberry caps, gold jewellry (the chunkier and less tasteful the better) rolls their trouser legs up to reveal their ankles/pulls their socks up over their trouser legs; if female has a bottled tan, large hoop earrings, hair tied up rediculously tight so as to actually distort the natural shape of their face.
B)Hangs around on estates, parks, high streets, outside McDonalds or in childrens playgrounds whilst drinking White Lightning cider, gossiping about either East Enders, Coronation Street, I'm a Celebrity..., the ugly swine they got off with the night before or how 4 of them beat the crap out of a lone "Greebo/Grunger"
C) Has a self imposed inabilty to say words of more than two sylables, brought about by purposefully ignoring all attempts by the State to educate them.
The most common example to be easily found of a Chav is outside your local McDonalds, or in the nearest park, sitting around the bench closest to the football pitch(if one is present).
Celebrity examples of the breed include Wayne Rooney, and Mel C.
From the French ‘Chave Act’ of 1217AD. In direct response to the Holy Roman Empire’s policy of over breeding among the evolutionary challenged (See ‘Missing Link), the 3 economic superpowers of Europe, (Germany, France and Britain) signed the ‘Act’ in an attempt to maintain ‘Pikey’ numbers within their states at a manageable level.
The basic premise was the rotational hosting of wars (See ‘Culls’) and distribution of ‘Social Diseases’ in order to regularly prune back numbers.
However, since 1945 the Act has fallen into disuse due to the excessive pressures of the Liberals (See STDs) and vain attempts to bring new regional partners within the Act to re-empower it have not been a success.
The net result is that levels are at an epidemic status and these bog dwelling, descendents of leper faeces are swelling out from their natural habit and invading ever social corner of the British Isles.
Get off my land, Chav. Release the hounds, Winthrop.
A bunch of white kids who think they are hardcore gangsters from the ghettos and listen to "phat beats" such as Blazin' Squad and So Solid Crew, which they think is gangster music, when it is no more than pop music with annoying "raps" and "beats". They are usually popular at school and go around acting "propa hard" beating up and pushing around anyone that's not popular or a chav like them. They also like to call anyone that likes rock music a "goff" "mosha" or "grunga". Avoid these mindless fuckwits at any chance you can.
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A human with a very little brain. Can be recognised by their fake burberry, socks tucked into "sports label" trousers and endless tacky gold jewllery (mainly bought from Argos!). These primitive people are offten seen swearing,smoking and lobbing things at random people. Pity they can't see how lame they really are!
Just go into your local town centre there should be al least a gang of 8 hanging around a McDonalds somewhere....
charver, scalley, ned, chor.
A social underclass par excellence. The absolute dregs of modern civilization, each one a near clone in IQ (the lowest possible whilst still exhibiting brain stem function), attitude, diet, dress sense, uselessness, abusiveness and complete lack of any sense of decorum.
Likely to be found in congregations outside McDonalds, endlessly smoking cheap cigarettes whilst sporting burberry clothes, masses of cheap 9ct gold jewelry from Argos/Index, baseball caps worn at 90 degrees. Female chavs can be identified from their hair, invariably worn pulled back into the tightest possible configuration and secured with at least 5 "scrunchies
Unable to converse in any high form of language and too lazy to communicate the limited vocabulary they have properly.
The only good chav is dead one. The only thing better than that is a mass grave full of dead chavs and a 24 hour work crew making way for more...
whodya think your'e lookin at? Ah'll batter ya, y' f***in' div!
(then runs to get older brother at first sign of trouble)