The chav is much like a wild beast
. The chav is commonly found in packs hunting on the open plains of the council estate. Their main source of food is found at the local McDonalds, where a Big Mac and fries will see them tamed for over 20 minutes.
The chav's delicacy is known as Vegrandis Parvulus or Small Child.
Aproaching a chav is thought to be very dangerous, especially of you are under the age of 12 and/or a lone female.
Chavs are also responsible for the crime ratings increase that their country of origin has seen over the last 5 years. Unfortunatly, chavs are seen as the cancer of the United Kingdom and as such, many professionals have been searching for a cure. As of yet, all known cures are still illegal.
The chav is also known to posess many magical powers. A chav can afford to own a car and modify it to the extreme (maxing
), whilst still being on the dole. The chavs powers also extend to their ability to 'Get away with murder' in a court of law. Law abiding, tax-paying citzens should stay clear of any legal conflicts when it comes to chavs, as they will undoubtably be found to be at fault. Yes, if you was subject to an unprovoked attack by a group of 20 chavs, and left for dead, you will have been recorded on their knock-off video mobile phones and will be found guilty in a court of law for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and using excessive force to protect yourself.
The chav is however misunderstood. Many people beleive that the chav is illiterate. This is untrue! How else would they know that the paper they have picked up is the 'daily sport'?
The chav also has a very high reproductive system, partially due to the fact that they would 'Shag a trapped rat' and their lack of experience with contraceptives
The chav is also inexplicably strong as a pack of 20+. On it's own a chav is about as solid as a new-born baby's turd.
The female of the species is known as the Chavette, and commonly wears a white knock-off tracksuit and 9crt Gold plated Clown Pendant.
The male of the species is known as the Chav, and can be seen sporting burberry, tracksuits and cheap 9crt Gold plated Soveriegn Rings. These also double up as a weapon.
The prefered method of transport is a mates clapped out, highly modified, 2-door shit box of a car with an oversized exhaust and clap trap stereo. They are skilled in getting more people into a small car than any other species known to man kind.
Jordan, A.K.A Katie Price - The ultimate chavette; Big titted minger with a fake orange tan.
Blazin' Squad - Pack of numerous dickheads trying to rap someone elses songs.
Goldie lookin' chain - Group of welsh wannabe rappers.
There are many more. If you wish to see the Chav in it's natural habitat, visit McDonalds on a Saturday Afternoon or take an evening stroll through your local council estate. (Please, do not go 'Chav Watching' alone)
someone who thinks they are the greatest/hardest person in the world. the whole community hate them
1.GET UP MA BOI!
5.get in there ma boi!
6.think your hard mush?
7.what you lookin' at grebo!
rough translation into modern english:
1.i am gay
2.that is good within statistical boundaries
3.yes fellow companion
4.i agree with your aspects
5.well done my associate!
6.i am *harder* than you becuase i have an obsurd fashion sense
7.i would prefer not to be stared at by someone who has a goal in life or a job as this reminds me how stupid i look
Stupid, idiotic morons who beleive they are supreme and that they can do anything they want. There are many ways to spot a Chav: 1. They walk like idiots listening to shit 'music'. 2. They have a thick, weird way of talking especially when they listen to shit R&B music. 3. They are ridiculously rude to people that they have no idea of how hard they are. Chavs are not good friends, they are Pricks and Twats.
Chavs: Fuck you, Fuck off! Oh I godda go watch da match man.
Me: Fuck off you stupid Chav
modern name: chav
Ancient name: burberritous wankerous
Poor thieving hobo got nothing better to do that listen to shite music and waste their time talking to other 'chavs'. They like to steal things, phones and wallets particularly, they wear crappy sports brands and tuck their trousers into their socks like a bunch of f*cking idiots. They are a general waste of space and oxygen and I think they should all be boiled in acid, sealed in concrete and dumped in the sea.
give us a ligwom dan!/ 'sav a toke on dat burn mush! aka give me a fag!
a slag who is always pushing a buggy with screaming kids and she's swearing at them in a scrubby common accent, she will have a cigerette in her hand, she will have acne at 25, permed hair, herpes, will wear rings on every finger and a loads of cheap necklaces most common of these has a doll on it. they wear huge massive gold loop earing which they put their ankles behind when they are having sex so that their legs don't get tired.
see: chaz, slut, slapper
also try: townie, kev,
Well, i believe that chavs are a bit like toilet paper...full of shit! So most people hate townies, chavs, kevs (numerous names for them) and so do i. They have no respect for any human being, property or laws at all. Basically they suck. They suck heaving great ballS! They uses phrases such as "u got 'ne fags bruv?" and "you beefin me boys??" etc. Basically they're complete toss pots...my the lord rid the world of these vile beings once and for all!
"Innit bruv innit, look at dose grungies ova der innint. les go beef um up!"
(1)Wears jewellery from Argos
(2)Has a pregnant girlfriend, aged 14
(3)Will punch anyone, especially if they are just minding their own business
(4)Socialise outside of McDonald's, shouting at 10-year-olds that pass in the street
(5)Have their own language and slang
(6)Live on council estates
(7)Wear Adidas, Nike etc. Not the 'real' stuff, cheap rip-offs from a market stall.
(8)Can usually be found with a can of lager in one hand and a cigarette in the other
(9)Uneducated, with no ability to read or write
(10)The bane of society
Though stereotypes may divide us, we are all united in hating chavs.
Mikey: Look at this class sovereign ring! An' the gold scratches off it yer wannit to be silver!
Dave: Banged up Bex, now she's got her fifth on the way.
Steve: How old is she?
Dave: 12 next month.
Steve: What 'chu lookin' at? Bring it!
*Scared stranger hurries away, avoiding eye contact*
(4)Mikey: Wanna go out to town?
Mikey: Innit, blud.
Mikey: Got meself some Adidas an' Nike off the market stall. Innit.
Dave: Yeh, yer startin'?
Steve: Err, yeh, mmmh *grunts*
Two chavs decide to have a drinking contest, but both collaspe from alcohol poisoning and eventually die in hospital. Who won? Society.
Child, derived from the Gipsy/Polari word for children: chavies
We've got to break camp sharpish, I'll strap the mare you gather the chavies into the wagon.