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29.
A sexual act so depraved Canadians are forbidden from speaking of it in public. Also known as "Going Balls-Diefenbaker."

With a turkey baster, inject as much maple syrup as possible into the vagina or anus. Once full, grab a lacrosse stick and insert in a slow twisting motion until it can go no further. Do a couple of turns, and then remove. What you now have is called the "Kodiak Boner", which you have to lick clean before moving on. Next, take the antlers of a young moose (freshly killed is best; you Albertans know what I'm talking about) and insert the longest point into your anus while letting the horn wrap around & cradle your nutsack. If you're female, it's one in the pink, one in the stink. Ideally this is accomplished without breaking the horn. Then while standing over the Stanley cup, one partner blows the other and spits the jizz into the cup until full. (This can take days.) Once filled to the brim, the fellated partner must drink Lord Stanley's Cum (purists will say it must be done in one attempt), kiss his partner, and snowball as much as possible back into his or her mouth. If his partner vomits from the experience, then the antlers may be removed and the act is complete; if not, the partners must post each other's nude, antler-impaled, come-covered photo as their Facebook profile picture and tag themselves in it.

Extra cred is applied if Canada's History is performed in a, or with a girl named, Mercedes. ÜBER cred if both apply.
My girlfriend and I took a week off work to perform Canada's History and now I'm pretty sure I have a ruptured colon.
by RebelScum February 05, 2010
 
30.
A sexual act requiring four participants: 2 men; 1 young woman; and one elderly woman, ideally from montreal. Also necessary are a pair of moose antlers; a gallon jug of maple syrup; and ideally the stanley cup, although a replica can be substituted. The act begins with the young woman, called "Alberta Bertha," strapping on a large prosthetic penis carved from a walrus tusk and having lubricated it with maple syrup penetrates the rectum of one of the young men. This young man, the "Toronto Blue Jay," faces away from the woman penetrating him, bends over, reaches between his spread legs and grips her ankles firmly. The second man, called the "Buttfuckin canuck," stands behind the young woman and inserts his penis in her rectum while simultaneously penetrating her vaginally with one end of the moose antlers. The elderly french canadian woman then kneels behind the second man, inserting the other end of the moose antlers into her own vagina, and licks his rectum while masturbating with two fistfuls of french fries covered in gravy. For this reason she is called the "Madame Poutin." Extra fries, gravy, and maple syrup for lubricant are kept close at hand in the stanley cup. The resulting configuration of bodies in silhouette closely resembles the stylized maple leaf on the Canadian flag. Purists prefer there to be a heavily medicated beaver present, altho most modern practitioners consider The Beaver to be outmoded in the internet age.
"Hey hoser, look at that granny and her grand daughter over there. It'd be great to hook up with them for a Canada's History, eh?"
by Father Partridge Family Values February 05, 2010
 
31.
A sexual act so vile and depraved it is almost a violation of the FCC for Stephen Colbert to mention it on T.V. It involves drinking vaginal fluid, piss, shit and semen out of the Stanley cup, while getting gored in the ass by a moose's antler dipped in maple syrup (the moose is also getting fucked in the ass), then puking all the substances out into the cup then switching roles with your partner and allowing them to drink from the cup, in a vicious, sexually depraved cycle.
Last night she tried to teach me Canada's history - I got the fuck outta there as soon as I saw the moose.
by Shaggy1692 March 02, 2010
 
32.
Canadians are nice, polite, non-violent people, so don't believe all this crap about moose antlers, maple syrup, the Stanley Cup, or mounties. In fact, nothing depraved ever happens in Canada. Up here north of the 49th, the term Canada's History simply refers to any friendly act of Sex in the Snow, wearing clap skates. And if Stephen Colbert doesn't know that, he should have his ombudsmanship revoked.
I have a degree in Canada's History, but they wouldn't let me in the Olympics anyway.
by Eh, Hun? February 08, 2010
 
33.
When the aphrodisiacal element present in ground moose antlers (chocolate) which stimulates the circulatory system and increases sexual libido, is imbibed in tall soy peppermint mocha frappucinos by a thousand Canadians watching the Stanley Cup finals, this depraved sex act has been known to occur in the stadium bathrooms. Starting with the pouring of maple syrup onto the nude, hairless, lithe bodies of affected Canadians, Canada's History ends with what can only be described as a game of drunken, syrupy-sweet Twister gone very, very wrong.
1. I'd like to go with you to the Stanley Cup, but I am afraid of what I've heard about Canada's History.

2. I've heard of Canada's History, but never really believed it until now!
by ariannahiggins February 06, 2010
 
34.
The sexual act in which you pour maple syrup into a cup half way. You then collect moose leavings and put it into the Stanly Cup. Saw off moose antlers from either a live moose or a wall mounted moose head, you mix the syrup and moose scat with one antler. With the other you are to have a female or male partner and you spank the person with the antler. With the cup you pour the syrup/moose scat over the person. As you do, you are to sing the canadian anthem. After the cup is empty the person covered in the stuff is to vomit into the cup, and you are to jack off into it and mix this with the first antler. This you are to pour over you while naming Canada's provenses. After you have poured the vomit/cum over you, you and the partner is to fist eachother's asses at the same time, and saying "eh?" over and over.
1.The most vial and distrubing sexual act I have ever heared of is called Canada's History

2.My girlfriend Canada's history-ed me last night, I didnt know she was so disturbing....and hot
by dothebedn February 06, 2010
 
35.
Canada is the part of America we didnt want.

Too damn cold
Canadas History is a history of being too fucking cold!
by TacoMann February 05, 2010