The 'Canada's History' is an extremely vile, yet strangely satisfying, sex act that originated in the Moose Jaw, SK, General Hospital Psychiatric ward in 1987. It is now practiced throughout Canada, especially in the cold parts, by children, adults, and seniors alike. The act itself involves the male genitalia being dipped in maple syrup before being made to negotiate a pair of Moose antlers which have been strapped to the female's groin area. Male beginners at this move may choose to wear a protective sports cup on the their groin while practicing this skill with their friends--this is often referred to on the schoolyards of Canada as the "Stanley Cup". Regional differences do exist in regards to the 'Canada's History' however. In maritime Canada and northern Quebec, where human-looking and smelling females have long since become extinct, the use of a seal instead of a human female is accepted. While the normal version of the "Canada's History" is culminated by both parties needlessly apologizing to each other, the Maritime/N. Quebec version ends with the clubbing of the aforementioned seal.
"I wonder if mom and dad know we can hear them doing the Canada's History"
by iamnotacrook February 06, 2010
When the aphrodisiacal element present in ground moose antlers (chocolate) which stimulates the circulatory system and increases sexual libido, is imbibed in tall soy peppermint mocha frappucinos by a thousand Canadians watching the Stanley Cup finals, this depraved sex act has been known to occur in the stadium bathrooms. Starting with the pouring of maple syrup onto the nude, hairless, lithe bodies of affected Canadians, Canada's History ends with what can only be described as a game of drunken, syrupy-sweet Twister gone very, very wrong.
1. I'd like to go with you to the Stanley Cup, but I am afraid of what I've heard about Canada's History.

2. I've heard of Canada's History, but never really believed it until now!
by ariannahiggins February 06, 2010
1. when your uncle ties your socks together while youre sleeping

2. when a registered sex offender wins the lottery.

3. when a transgendered moose gets a maple syrup enema and farts it out all over the stanely cup which is held by a lumberjack with a bad attitude, wild eyes and a shit eating grin on his face.
uncle john canadas history 'd me last christmas and i broke my arm.
by HighSnowLordofTheBlowLands February 06, 2010
The sexual act in which you pour maple syrup into a cup half way. You then collect moose leavings and put it into the Stanly Cup. Saw off moose antlers from either a live moose or a wall mounted moose head, you mix the syrup and moose scat with one antler. With the other you are to have a female or male partner and you spank the person with the antler. With the cup you pour the syrup/moose scat over the person. As you do, you are to sing the canadian anthem. After the cup is empty the person covered in the stuff is to vomit into the cup, and you are to jack off into it and mix this with the first antler. This you are to pour over you while naming Canada's provenses. After you have poured the vomit/cum over you, you and the partner is to fist eachother's asses at the same time, and saying "eh?" over and over.
1.The most vial and distrubing sexual act I have ever heared of is called Canada's History

2.My girlfriend Canada's history-ed me last night, I didnt know she was so disturbing....and hot
by dothebedn February 06, 2010
A sexual act so depraved Canadians are forbidden from speaking of it in public. Also known as "Going Balls-Diefenbaker."

With a turkey baster, inject as much maple syrup as possible into the vagina or anus. Once full, grab a lacrosse stick and insert in a slow twisting motion until it can go no further. Do a couple of turns, and then remove. What you now have is called the "Kodiak Boner", which you have to lick clean before moving on. Next, take the antlers of a young moose (freshly killed is best; you Albertans know what I'm talking about) and insert the longest point into your anus while letting the horn wrap around & cradle your nutsack. If you're female, it's one in the pink, one in the stink. Ideally this is accomplished without breaking the horn. Then while standing over the Stanley cup, one partner blows the other and spits the jizz into the cup until full. (This can take days.) Once filled to the brim, the fellated partner must drink Lord Stanley's Cum (purists will say it must be done in one attempt), kiss his partner, and snowball as much as possible back into his or her mouth. If his partner vomits from the experience, then the antlers may be removed and the act is complete; if not, the partners must post each other's nude, antler-impaled, come-covered photo as their Facebook profile picture and tag themselves in it.

Extra cred is applied if Canada's History is performed in a, or with a girl named, Mercedes. ÜBER cred if both apply.
My girlfriend and I took a week off work to perform Canada's History and now I'm pretty sure I have a ruptured colon.
by RebelScum February 05, 2010
An act of taking a champagne bottle full of firecrackers deep into a opening in a willing or unwilling partner. The second phase of the act is taking a copy of "The Beaver" and smacking your partner in the face as you light the firecrackers through a hole drilled in the bottom of the bottle.

PS It is wise to keep the cap on.
I hear Sally had a little rectal burn after her Canada's History last night.
by Crazy Anal Play. February 05, 2010
the most gruesome sex act in the kama sutra that usually involves maple syrup, at least one moose, a duck, the stanley cup, and as many beavers as you'd like. This sex position is less popular than most others mainly because it is stickier than most, but is still gaining popularity in certain regions.
"hey stephen, wanna go have some hot sticky 'canada's history'-style sex?"
by colberttoldmeto17 February 04, 2010
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