Load everything into the raft and down a shallow river where one can expect many Rapids.5 midgets must steer the raft into rapids while the 6th, without using his tiny arms, must completely undress the two maidens.At which point you pour the maple syrup from the Wild Animal's Head onto the ladies making sure that every inch is amply covered.Upon reaching the rapids get the ladies into a 69 position and the midget must rapidly put the cactus in and out a lady's asshole from one end. This when coupled with the maple syrup and the uneven rapids is painfully reminiscent of the Intercolonial Wars that erupted between 1689 and 1763, ultimately culminating in a blood filled orgasm strangely signifying the Birth of Quebec.On the other end your goal is to take your10inches and in a swift motion must pistol whip all the 5 midgets steering the raft and finally enter the woman on the other side. Now repeat this process 12 times to ultimately have a raft shaking orgasm filling the woman with a your manseed. Thi surprisingly guarantees that the offspring will be a female and thereby ensuring that Canada's History is carried on forward for years to come.
A fair warning that Canada's History is not suitable for Lumber Jacks, Pregnant women, Male Homosexuals, People suffering from Lollypopguildophobia and of course East Asians.
First, take the Stanley Cup and fill it to the brim with maple syrup, then cut the antlers off of a moose (preferably live) and dip the ends into the maple syrup, then, while two women perform a sixty-nine on each other, you insert the moose antlers into their rectums and stand over them, masturbating and singing "God Save the Queen," being sure to end every phrase with "Eh?"
Husband: I think it's that we just don't have enough energy after all our other responsibilities, eh, the kids, work.
Marriage Counselor: Like I haven't heard that a trillion fucking times, eh!! You two should learn Canada's History like any responsible citizens would! Now get the fuck out and fuck!!!
(1) the Moose will become agitated to some degree of insanity and attempt to buck off both the man and woman. At this point, if the couple lasts at least 8 seconds and both reach the point of orgasm, they win the Stanley Cup. This is referred to as the "Two Canucks, One Cup" Rodeo.
(2) the Moose will become aroused, and will proceed to insert itself into the female. If the female is unwilling, a suitable midget replacement will suffice.
Thanks stephen colbert
Guy 2: yeah.
Guy 1: dude i gave her the complete canadas history last night!
The act itself was said to originally consist of Georges approaching with moose antlers strapped to his head. Georges (known for having meaty lumberjack hands) would then proceed to fist the orifice of his victim. Georges would proceed to insert his penis into the fist within the orifice and masturbate to ejaculation.
Georges used "the only lubrication worthy of a true Canadian Gold Man", maple syrup. He would chug the syrup, while cursing the Queen and lavishly praising Gold.
Modernly, the act has changed to honor hockey legend, Wayne Gretzky (many considered it source of his greatness). A proper rendition of Canada's History now requires that the victim be bent over, face resting in the cup, which is filled to the brim with maple syrup.
The act risks asphyxiation and is so dangerous that Canadian Healthcare System uses a form called a 1206c(h), which is to be filled out in the case of injuries resulting from the act.
Roommate 2: No, but not for a lack of trying, eh. We were out of maple syrup.
Roommate 1: Fine Canadians we are eh? Forgive us Georges.