| 199. | Canada's History | ||
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A sex act, involving wearing moose antlers on one's head, while pouring maple syrup either into the anus or vagina, or in some cases both, excreting said maple syrup into the Stanley Cup and then orally ingesting the maple syrup from the Stanley Cup, and spitting it up into the air, in an attempt to fully cover the moose antlers. Did you see that Canadian porno where those 2 chicks both did Canada's History? That was almost worse than 2 girls 1 cup.
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| 1. | Canada's History | ||
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A sexual act so depraved it cannot be explained on television. First, take the Stanley Cup and fill it to the brim with maple syrup, then cut the antlers off of a moose (preferably live) and dip the ends into the maple syrup, then, while two women perform a sixty-nine on each other, you insert the moose antlers into their rectums and stand over them, masturbating and singing "God Save the Queen," being sure to end every phrase with "Eh?" Hey man, did you hear how Stephen Colbert Canada's History-ed Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann? Apparently they couldn't talk without shitting themselves for a full week!
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| 2. | Canada's History | ||
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The most depraved sexual act known to mankind kept as a hidden secret from Canada to preserve its' innocence. In detail, the ******** are inserted into ******* using the ******* with ******** moose antlers ****** **** ***** maple syrup **** ***** around five times ***** *** ******* until the **** ***** affectionately called "the Mounties" use **** ***** all over the ****. The resulting **** ***** *** ****** are then used as lubricant for ******** **** **** into ****** **** **** with ***** **** **** Stanley Cup. I can't believe we just did Canada's History.
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| 3. | Canada's History | ||
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a sexual act designed to tell a story through symbolic devices: specifically in this case, that story is the history of Canada. As an element of foreplay, the man pours some maple syrup on the woman's body, and licks it off of her abdomen, breasts, nipples, and vulva in that respective order. In honor of Samuel De Champlain's voyage by canoe through Lake Nipissing, the man rubs is penis lengthwise along the woman's vulva, and she bears down hard to spray his genitals with her urine. Then the man and woman perform oral sex on each other, burying their faces in each other's pubic hair, representing the fur trade. The man has intercourse with the woman doggy style, while slapping more...
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| 4. | Canada's History | ||
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A sex act performed often by members of Canada's high society in which maple syrup is poured generously onto the crotch of the willing female, who then mounts the face of a moose by holding onto its antlers. The Moose encouraged by the presence of the sweet syrup performs cunnilingus on the woman while the Stanley Cup is positioned below to collect the drippings. Once a sufficient volume is collected the willing male participant dips his erect phallus into the cup prior to insertion into the Moose's anus (preferably before the Moose has slurped up all the syrup). Depending upon the size of the phallus inserted into the Moose, one of two results will occur: (1) the Moose will become agitated to some degree of insanity and attempt to buck off both the man and woman. At this point, if the couple lasts at least 8 seconds and both reach the point of orgasm, they win the Stanley Cup. This is referred to as the "Two Canucks, One Cup" Rodeo. (2) the Moose will become aroused, and will proceed to insert itself into the female. If the female is unwilling, a suitable midget replacement will suffice. Oh, snap! Did you see Steven Colbert and Sarah Palin do Canada's History to Bullwinkle while Rocky watched?
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| 5. | Canada's history | ||
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This terrifying, little-practiced sex act requires elaborate staging and great acrobatic strength. First, the nude, submissive participant stands before the Stanley cup. The submissive lowers their head into the cup. The dominant participant approaches from behind with a decanter of warmed maple syrup, which is poured liberally onto the head and genitals of the submissive. Using thinly-sliced Canadian bacon as a prophylactic, the dominant penetrates the anus of the submissive with the body part or object of their choice, while simultaneously scoring the submissive's back with the antlers of a moose. Coitus ensues. Traditionally, the climax of either partner is marked by shouting the name of the band Rush's singer and bass player, "Geddy Lee!" Right after my partner marked me with the Dirty Sanchez, I retorted with a Canada's history.
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| 6. | Canada's History | ||
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An erotic sexual act to welcome the end of winter and the coming of the spring. The woman is cradled in the majestic antlers of a fallen moose, reciting Margaret Atwood poetry. A mountie lovingly drizzles warm maple syrup all over her body. The mountie then kneels before the woman, representing the sovereignty of the queen, and selflessly performs cunnilungus on her. When she has come once, he uses a dildo in the shape of Ryan Gosling's penis (which is large) until she ejaculates into the Stanley Cup. The mountie then gladly drinks the warm liquid and sings "Oh Canada." In April, Steven Harper performed Canada's history in the role of the mounty in parliament.
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| 7. | Canada's History | ||
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A crazy sex act that cannot be spoken of on tv involving moose antlers, maple syrup, and the Stanly Cup. I just gave her the craziest canada's history of her life!
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