Calgary is an essentially boring, lifeless city in Alberta, Canada with delusions of grandeur. One of the worst examples of urban sprawl in North America it's ecological footprint is massive. So much so that water is becoming a major issue. It is famous for the Calgary Stampede which is a drunken corporate boozefest designed to convince people that Calgary still has anything at all to do with Cowboys.
An essentially a white collar city obsessed with being " a world class city". It should be noted however, that inland cities are rarely world class. Having grown by more than 200,000 people in the last 20 many who come from other larger more cosmopolitan cities despise the fact that Calgary has no arts scene to speak of. The philharmonic teeters on bankruptcy every few years, and the jazz festival died a nasty death due to financial problems.

Calgary is a city, for the most part of hard workers and hard drinkers. Having one of the highest per capita alcohol consumption rates the standard problems arise. However, since most of Calgary is middle class, alcoholism & drug abuse are relabled conspicuous consumption.

Having lived in Calgary my whole life not being white has been a definite plus. It's great to have fun at the rednecks expense and they are usually shocked to discover a margin of education or a sharp wit.

On the subject of well bred white girls a lot of them do get fed up with the redneck attitudes of a lot of white guys. The basically means that if you're not white as long as your a decent man you can date any woman that you want. That being said a lot of girls in Calgary are gold diggers regardless of color. They will ask you in the first five minutes of meeting you, what you do, how much money you make and what you drive. Caution must be applied as a lot of these women are interested in what they can get out of the relationship, not in the man per se. Be vague in matters of money and things will go a lot better. They will be forced to be a little more creative in their legwork which only benifits you, as a guy.
by 156 July 23, 2006

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Perhaps the City of Calgary should be called the Shitty of Calgary, or better yet, shittyofcalgary.com.
Calgary has some serious problems that appear to only be getting worse.
by bonnelame May 29, 2008

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n. Etymologists are divided over whether it derives from the Latin word, calgarus, meaning "crass," or a blackfoot word, calgaree, meaning, "strange race in cowboy boots who guzzle thick black liquid from the ground ." In current colloquial usage it is slang for "second-best."
Leno is just so calgary compared to Letterman.
by E.J. Cochrane August 17, 2005

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Calgary is a beautiful city in western Canuckistan. It is known by insiders for a nearly omnipotent police force; indeed, the Calgary police regularly catches heinous criminals in the act of parking more than 200 cm from the curb.

The city with the most insanely expensive cars per capita.

For the mathematically inclined, Calgary's road system was designed from scratch to be an example that shows that solving NP-complete problems while driving is bad.

Calgary consistently ranks in the top 10 cities in terms of quality of life and eco-friendliness. These are less defining characteristics, and more properties. However, a defining characteristic is that Calgary receives the second strongest Chinook winds; Lethebridge receiving the strongest Chinook winds. Chinook winds are sent by the Gods to make everyone sick by quickly altering the temperature from -20 to +20.
Driver: I got a ticket for having my steering wheel turned to 22 degrees while parked.
Friend: You must have parked in Calgary.
At a distance...
Police trainee (to Officer): Shouldn't I feel bad about giving such ridiculous tickets.
Police officer: No. Everybody in Calgary is rich.
----
Newcomer to Calgary: Whoa, is that a Ferrari being followed by a Lamborghini?
Calgarian: Pick your jaw up! I bought two last week, you can have one if you want.
----
Driver: How do I get to your place; I'm on the opposite end of the city?
Friend on phone: It's easy. Just solve the k-Clique problem for k=33.
----
If it's too cold for you, wait 10 minutes.
by Calgarian November 08, 2011

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Located in the transition zone between the foothills of the Rockies and the prairies, Calgary is a dry, treeless city where the grass is never really green. Amazingly enough, this reflects Calgary's personality perfectly.

When I was at my cousin's house in the south of the city, I walked down the path that led away from his backyard and stood on the edge of the hill. Before me was a vast exapnse of brown covered in rows upon rows of cookie-cutter suburbs with no trees. Everything was so new, so spread out and so ugly. If one said the city had a soul, this would be it.

Edmonton is well on its way to becoming like this.
There is nothing to which to compare Calgary, at least not that I know of. Its lifelessness is one of a kind.
by Colonel Graff June 18, 2009

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The part of Canada that thinks it's Texas.
Dude, I just went on vacation to Calgary, and there was a parade with all these fake cowboys and shit.
by insane adventurer March 10, 2015

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First nations (Blackfoot tribe) to mean "where rivers meet" reffering to the bow and elbow river
Bow and elbow river meet in calgary
by roylay February 08, 2013

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