| 14. | Calgary | ||
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Calgary is a beautiful city in western Canuckistan. It is known by insiders for a nearly omnipotent police force; indeed, the Calgary police regularly catches heinous criminals in the act of parking more than 200 cm from the curb. The city with the most insanely expensive cars per capita. For the mathematically inclined, Calgary's road system was designed from scratch to be an example that shows that solving NP-complete problems while driving is bad. Calgary consistently ranks in the top 10 cities in terms of quality of life and eco-friendliness. These are less defining characteristics, and more properties. However, a defining characteristic is that Calgary receives the second strongest Chinook winds; Lethebridge receiving the strongest Chinook winds. Chinook winds are sent by the Gods to make everyone sick by quickly altering the temperature from -20 to +20. Driver: I got a ticket for having my steering wheel turned to 22 degrees while parked.
Friend: You must have parked in Calgary. At a distance... Police trainee (to Officer): Shouldn't I feel bad about giving such ridiculous tickets. Police officer: No. Everybody in Calgary is rich. ---- Newcomer to Calgary: Whoa, is that a Ferrari being followed by a Lamborghini? Calgarian: Pick your jaw up! I bought two last week, you can have one if you want. ---- Driver: How do I get to your place; I'm on the opposite end of the city? Friend on phone: It's easy. Just solve the k-Clique problem for k=33. ---- If it's too cold for you, wait 10 minutes. |
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| 1. | Calgary | ||
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A city in the province of Alberta, Canada, that has roughly a million people, hosts the Calgary Stampede, and should be the capital city instead of Edmonton.
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| 2. | Calgary | ||
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The best city in Canada. Has the Flames, the new Stampeders, and the Calgary Stampede, the greatest outdoor show on earth. Madtroll, you are a dick and have probably never been to Calgary. It's a beautiful city full of life and culture. You are probably a redneck bumpkin living in Alabama. But that's besides the point. Calgary is a great city. Hot girls, good bars, good times. Dude, let's go to Calgary. It's sweet.
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| 3. | Calgary | ||
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I've lived in both Edmonton and Calgary and Calgary is the better. Sure Edmonton has that mall, but guess what? Thats it. While in Calgary we have the Flames, The Stampede, and GlobalFest. And we have lots of trees, a few sluts, and almost no mullets. So there! Why did Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie come to Calgary?
More things to do than Edmonton, thats why! |
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| 4. | Calgary | ||
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A city in Alberta, Canada, it is either loved or hated. Contrary to popular belief, it is not populated by hard working blue collar cowboys, but by an astounding number of metrosexuals and Asians. It is extremely rare to meet someone in Calgary who was actually born there, as the majority of its inhabitants simply migrated there to earn lots of easy money. Because of this, Calgary is extremely diverse.
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Calgary is notorious for its awful traffic, as the city was never designed for the massive amounts of foreign females that currently terrorize the streets. Road construction is a year round occurrence. Calgary is also notorious for its lively nightlife, with a hodgepodge of nightclubs strewn throughout the various industrial parks. Because of the utter disgrace of a transit system, drunk driving is the preferred and safest method of transport. Calgarian women are known as some of the most beautiful in the world, due to additives in the water treatment system. However, they are also some of the most demanding, with the vast majority not attracted to good looks or personality, but rather the fat wads of wonderful money that a man may possess. Women who are not absolutely perfect quickly become vapid sluts that can be had for the price of one or two drinks. Besides alcohol abuse, there is extremely little to actually do in the... |
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| 5. | Calgary | ||
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Located in western Canada, Alberta, Calgary is home to many talented musicians such as Tegan and Sara, Michael Bernard Fitzgerald, The Dudes. more...
Downtown is small, and has many homeless, although fewer within the past few years. They add character if you ask me. Mostly, the corporates are oil companies, oil being a natural resource of alberta. A LRT(light rail train) system, the Ctrain, has been expanding to every corner of the city. With hopes to help with our traffic problem perhaps. I love it honestly. Usually you can seen the mountains which are beautiful. Always pot, good club scene, definitely good shopping, Chinook Center is has been expanded twice and included Urban Outfitters, Abercrombie, Forever 21, Burberry, Coach, Aritzia, TNA, Stuart Weizman, etc.. Awesome foodcourt with a merry go round in it, and planes on a track on the ceiling. Downtown shopping is good, there is a Holt Renfrew. Check out TD. Cross Iron Mills blows even though it is high recommended for its size. Calgary Stampede is a week long fair that is held on the Stampede grounds which has a rodeo, fireworks every night, a midway(rides and grub), performers on the CocaCola stage, and is basically a week long drinking party. This is were the cowboy rumor started about us i believe. Its not so true but still welcome. Calgary was mentioned in Weeds season 6 near the beginning of the season, as was the stampede. Commonly referred as; Calgs, Cowtown, Ctown, YXC, 403 Pronounced Cal-grie not Cal-gar-ie |
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| 6. | Calgary | ||
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An awesome city with some great people, and some assholes. Yes, there are sluts here, but there are sluts anywhere else too. Interesting people. And 17th Ave is pretty fun, as is downtown and Mission. Should be the capital of Alberta. Calgary is better than Deadmonton.
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| 7. | calgary | ||
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A sterile, livable and modest Canadian city, with professional sports teams for entertainment. A stone's throw from the Rockies, but that doesn't actually affect the quality of the city.
It's not even close to a "world city", but Calgary has the most potential to grow of any Canadian city. With the oil economy, the imigrants are coming from across the globe and local art scenes will develop. A city with some minority of fanatics that really like to insult Toronto for no apparent reason. But they are not the voice of the city. Calgarian: "Fuck Toronto, those pakis and gangster wannabes can stay where they are. Calgary is so much better, we have the stampede."
Torontonian: "Calgary's pretty cool, I love Banff and the Rockies. Last time I was there I missed the stampede by a couple of days, and didn't really do anything memorable. Stop talking bullshit about my hometown! It's a lot more dynamic in the arts, dining, diversity and the neighbourhoods. If crime gets worse and the city becomes dirtier, I'll consider Calgary, but we've got some unique ideas. Watch out." Calgarian: "I suppose I've never lived back east, I don't really know. Mind you, I don't have much to complain about either." |
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