A city in Alberta, Western Canada. A right-wing, oil-rich, poorly planned-out traffic jam that is run by faux-cowboy hicks who have lots of money but no idea how to spend it practically or efficiently. Calgary is the homeless capital of the world. There are so many bums downtown that they might actually constitute a voting block. Calgary is also the rape capital of Canada, sexual assaults on women being a favorite pastime for immigrants and locals alike. Calgary is also chock full of drug-gangs, grow-ops, and mentally-ill street codgers. The courts don't actually lock-up criminals, instead they let them out after 12 hours of cushy containment. Watch out for swarming immigrant teenagers who will beat the shit out of you for the fun of it. The hockey team sucks, too.
by WingSt. December 23, 2007
A pretentious city with delusions of grandeur and penis envy (Toronto's dick is way bigger). I equate Calgary to the farmboy redneck who just won the lottery and bought himself a new car, new clothes and a fancy house. You may look good, you may have money, but Calgary you still have no class or sophistication, because deep down you are still a redneck.
Gee wiz look at me, I am Calgary - a hip and cool place because of all that oil money that I dug up from the ground but didn't really have to use by brains or ingenuity to create. Shhh, please don't tell my master Toronto.
by Toronto the Great May 5, 2007
A city trying it's best to be as good as Toronto, Montreal, and Vancouver before it's oil runs out and it turns into Canada's first Detroit. Bunch of red neck wannabes walking around in their cowboy hats eating beef and fattening up like the grease pigs they are. In the middle of nowhere, only talked about because they have oil. To bad Alberta couldn't start drilling for class and style 2 things missing from this bubble soon to burst. Claim to be Canadian but act more like a bunch of racist whities from Texas. SUV loving, freeway driving, suburban dwelling, city sprawling, environment raping, meat swallowing, air polluting, cowboy riding, animal abusing bunch of Hillbillies.
Calgary is the biggest waste of time.
by CapatainWestward July 25, 2006
A grossly overrated, sad excuse for a city that is filled with soulless, greedy individuals who think they are the shit. A town of red neck racists and nerds who think they got it goin on but seriously lack any sense of culture or heritage. A town with no appreciation for little things like art...music...comedy or indviduality. Its filled with clones and white collar wannabes (male and female).The females are the worst kind...Fake, stuck up and money hungry. The dudes are mostly quasi-homosexuals who have no swagger whatsoever and rely completely on their leased Escalades to attract these wack bitches. Just a sad sight to see. Having lived and worked in both Calgary and Edmonton, I gotta go with Etown every time. I suppose its what your into really. Neither is particularly amazing, but Cowtown really just has NO heart. And for my money, I prefer to stay down the REAL people(Edmontonians) and stay far away from all the fakers and the haters(Calgarians).
Yeah, my favorite band is coming to Calgary, but I will definitley drive to Edmonton to go see them cuz atleast they know how to party up there!! This place WEEEEAAAAAKKKK!!!
by Tre Seven September 8, 2009
Calgary sucks. It's a city of large hats, brother-sister love, stretchmarks, and small trophy cases. Calgarians only have one personality: hick. It is the fattest city in Alberta, and the 3rd fattest in western Canada. It is not nicknamed "Cowtown" for nothing.
Calgary Stampede sucks. When the horses go through the streets for their annual redneck parade they don't bother cleaning the shit up because it just blends in with the rest of the crap in Calgary.
Calgary sports fans suck. They have a massive inferiority complex towards their northern neighbors because they have almost triple the number of championships. They are more passionate about hating the Oilers than loving the Flames. Any mention of anything to do with Edmonton will produce apoplectic rage and gnashing of teeth. (well, "tooth". It's Calgary after all)
They all jumped on the Flames bandwagon in '04 and if the Flames continue to miss the playoffs they will all jump off with a resounding crash because they are fat.
Calgary Stampede sucks. When the horses go through the streets for their annual redneck parade they don't bother cleaning the shit up because it just blends in with the rest of the crap in Calgary.
Calgary sports fans suck. They have a massive inferiority complex towards their northern neighbors because they have almost triple the number of championships. They are more passionate about hating the Oilers than loving the Flames. Any mention of anything to do with Edmonton will produce apoplectic rage and gnashing of teeth. (well, "tooth". It's Calgary after all)
They all jumped on the Flames bandwagon in '04 and if the Flames continue to miss the playoffs they will all jump off with a resounding crash because they are fat.
The only thing Calgary has over Edmonton is a bigger downtown, too bad it's surrounded by a giant trailer park.
What do you call 30 Flames fans in a room together? A full set of teeth.
What do you call a hottie in Calgary? A tourist.
What's the difference between a bra and the Calgary Flames? (Come one, you all know the answer).
What do you call 30 Flames fans in a room together? A full set of teeth.
What do you call a hottie in Calgary? A tourist.
What's the difference between a bra and the Calgary Flames? (Come one, you all know the answer).
by Die Flames March 19, 2011
n. Etymologists are divided over whether it derives from the Latin word, calgarus, meaning "crass," or a blackfoot word, calgaree, meaning, "strange race in cowboy boots who guzzle thick black liquid from the ground ." In current colloquial usage it is slang for "second-best."
by E.J. Cochrane August 18, 2005
by Jeff the Skid December 9, 2003