A city in Alberta, Canada, it is either loved or hated. Contrary to popular belief, it is not populated by hard working blue collar cowboys, but by an astounding number of metrosexuals and Asians. It is extremely rare to meet someone in Calgary who was actually born there, as the majority of its inhabitants simply migrated there to earn lots of easy money. Because of this, Calgary is extremely diverse.

Calgary is notorious for its awful traffic, as the city was never designed for the massive amounts of foreign females that currently terrorize the streets. Road construction is a year round occurrence.

Calgary is also notorious for its lively nightlife, with a hodgepodge of nightclubs strewn throughout the various industrial parks. Because of the utter disgrace of a transit system, drunk driving is the preferred and safest method of transport.

Calgarian women are known as some of the most beautiful in the world, due to additives in the water treatment system. However, they are also some of the most demanding, with the vast majority not attracted to good looks or personality, but rather the fat wads of wonderful money that a man may possess. Women who are not absolutely perfect quickly become vapid sluts that can be had for the price of one or two drinks.

Besides alcohol abuse, there is extremely little to actually do in the city. A once a year festival know as the Calgary Stampede was implemented to introduce this extreme state of constant intoxication and public drunkenness to the rest of the world.

Despite several shortcomings, Calgary is still know the best city in Canada, and is accepted throughout the scientific world as being the true center of the universe.
"Lets go to Calgary, it's full of hot people and cheap liquor!"

"Holy fuck, Calgary has almost as many Asians as Hongcouver!"
by Bunnies April 15, 2009
The largest city in alberta and the best city in Canada.
With a population of just over a million people it is big but not too big.Its great location in the shadow of the rocky mountains is not only beautiful but also allows calgary to experience chinook winds during the long cold prarie winter.
Calgary is also much cleaner than other simular sized cities such as winnipeg or edmonton.
The popluation of Calgary is very diverse and is not just a bunch of cowboys and white collar pricks as many edmontonians will have you beleive.

Calgary is a awesome place to live.
edmontonian:"Calgary sucks waah,waaa,waaah..."

calgarian:"shutup you jealous prick"
by Canada eh? November 24, 2010
A city in Alberta, Canada, which is near Edmonton and the Rockies. Known for the Stampede, and it's incredibly large population of homophobic racist closeted cowboys.
Calgary is full of homophobic racist closeted cowboys. But still good.
by 88835 March 27, 2007
Calgary is the fastest growing country in Canada. has an awesome NHL Hockey Team called the Flames (not to be confused with flamers, who make up most of edmonton`s population) and a really good CFL Football team the stampeders (apparently, The Rock used to play for them). Houses the World-Renowned Calgary Stampede. There is much more to say about the city, but one really important thing is that Calgary IS the cleanest city in the world. look: http://i38.tinypic.com/oaps34.jpg
Calgary is the best city in calgary. Hands Down
by kowtownboi October 21, 2008
Dynamic Western Canadian City 77 miles east of Rocky Mountains. Originally the area was inhabited by first nations people. Later a Fort was built on the confluence of the Bow and Elbow rivers by the Northwest Mounted Police. Soon after hardy, independent immigrant settlers from Europe and Chinese bulding the railroad arrived and began farming and ranching. The Ranching business and meat packing industry resulted inCalgary becoming "Cowtown" The town still becomes Cowtown during Stampede, Calgary's annual summer festival of fun and nonsense and a summer break from hard work. Following the discovery of petroleum and natural gas at Brooks, Turner Valley, Bow Island and Leduc Calgary became the business centre for the oil and gas business. Engineering, Geoscience, technology, land and finance seems to be focused more in Calgary. Edmonton closer to the northern oil and gas discoveries, and "Gateway to the North" ended up as the staging ground for exploration and the "hardware store" and service center for the oilpatch. It is markedly different from Calgary but a great city as well. Calgary has a hard work ethic sometimes verging on workaholism and yet it plays hard too. Calgarians and Albertans in general are very generous with time, money and talents. Average people and millionaires rub shoulders in countless community charitable efforts. Most people who move to Calgary end up liking it as people are traditionally friendly and neighbourly although the boom times have attracted many who don't care to work
and are here only to take all they can get without giving back. Some by crime and violence. Those sorry mutts who bitch and complain about Calgary are in the main shallow callow self absorbed young twits /twats who have never seen the rest of the world other than in a rock video and are the sad pointless nihilistic effluent of an education system run by spoiled leftist whingers who are never happy with much of anything. We have to keep reminding them that if they hate Calgary there are 50 or sixty fligts and dozens of buses a day back to Butthole, Ontario or wherever it is that they think is utopia. Toronto ? Hah! Plenty of bridges to bail off of right into the icy cold anaesthetizing waters of the Beautiful clean Bow River. A fine trout stream. So take your enormous ecological footprint stats and shove them up your tigt eastern sphincters! As well Calgary has a better educated, well travelled, more internationally cospmopolitan population than nearly anywhere in Canada. Granted Calgary has problems with traffic, Hummer driving louts, flashy greedhead opportunists , smelly addicted beggars, useless waste of skin druggies, vandals and brain dead graffiti "artists." and the aformentioned leftist vegetarian dorks. The nice thing is that having been through a few of these g-damned booms we know that once the bloom is off the boom the whole scummy works all get back on the Greyhound with their orange Hefty bag luggage and head back to whatever rock they crawled out from under to come here. We hose down the spots they have skulked and lolled around so as to wash away the dreck foul odours and soon all is good and happy again. We are hoping it will be real soon.
by Works for Food September 04, 2006
Far enough south of Edmonton and beautifully far from Toronto. Unfortunately, way west of Montreal
Person one - Yo lets hit up West Ed
Person two - ummmm im feeling like a couple hundred clicks south . . . Calgary?
by HouseMD13 August 22, 2008
A nice city that is obsessed with Toronto. Been there for a week and I don't know what the big deal is. Boring, flat and average. Turned down a nice job because I love Toronto that much. Sorry Calgary, Toronto will always be the city where the best and the brightest go. You guys can have all the rejects from Quebec and Newfoundland.
Calgary, Edmonton, Toronto, Montreal, Vancouver, Alberta, Canada
by Toronto Man July 05, 2006
A tiny, insignificant part of Canada that suddenly (due to it's recent oil boom) thinks it is the most cosmopolitan, hip, flourishing place to be.

While it's true that there has been a lot of economic activity since the late 90's, there are other cold facts Calgarians don't like to brag about:

- population less than 1 million (that is a small city)
- conservative politics (need I mentiond Harper?)
- completely DEAD nightlife (Electric Avenue blows)
- no diversity in employment (either you sell real estate
or you are a redneck working on the oil rigs)
- only white people live there ... i.e. no authentic
cultural experiences like food, art, social diversity

Canada has 3 important cities: Toronto, Montreal & Vancouver. There rest are strictly peripheral.
Dude: "how was the job hunt out in Calgary?"
Bud: "great. I can live here a buy a house ..."
Dude: "what the problem then?"
Bud: "Nothing to fucking do! I'd rather get back to Vancouver or head to Toronto where there is a real night life ... this place blows dog!!!"
by Johnny-Phucker-Phaster June 01, 2006

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