A city in Alberta, Canada, it is either loved or hated. Contrary to popular belief, it is not populated by hard working blue collar cowboys, but by an astounding number of metrosexuals and Asians. It is extremely rare to meet someone in Calgary who was actually born there, as the majority of its inhabitants simply migrated there to earn lots of easy money. Because of this, Calgary is extremely diverse.

Calgary is notorious for its awful traffic, as the city was never designed for the massive amounts of foreign females that currently terrorize the streets. Road construction is a year round occurrence.

Calgary is also notorious for its lively nightlife, with a hodgepodge of nightclubs strewn throughout the various industrial parks. Because of the utter disgrace of a transit system, drunk driving is the preferred and safest method of transport.

Calgarian women are known as some of the most beautiful in the world, due to additives in the water treatment system. However, they are also some of the most demanding, with the vast majority not attracted to good looks or personality, but rather the fat wads of wonderful money that a man may possess. Women who are not absolutely perfect quickly become vapid sluts that can be had for the price of one or two drinks.

Besides alcohol abuse, there is extremely little to actually do in the city. A once a year festival know as the Calgary Stampede was implemented to introduce this extreme state of constant intoxication and public drunkenness to the rest of the world.

Despite several shortcomings, Calgary is still know the best city in Canada, and is accepted throughout the scientific world as being the true center of the universe.
"Lets go to Calgary, it's full of hot people and cheap liquor!"

"Holy fuck, Calgary has almost as many Asians as Hongcouver!"
by Bunnies April 15, 2009
A sterile, livable and modest Canadian city, with professional sports teams for entertainment. A stone's throw from the Rockies, but that doesn't actually affect the quality of the city.
It's not even close to a "world city", but Calgary has the most potential to grow of any Canadian city. With the oil economy, the imigrants are coming from across the globe and local art scenes will develop.
A city with some minority of fanatics that really like to insult Toronto for no apparent reason. But they are not the voice of the city.
Calgarian: "Fuck Toronto, those pakis and gangster wannabes can stay where they are. Calgary is so much better, we have the stampede."

Torontonian: "Calgary's pretty cool, I love Banff and the Rockies. Last time I was there I missed the stampede by a couple of days, and didn't really do anything memorable. Stop talking bullshit about my hometown! It's a lot more dynamic in the arts, dining, diversity and the neighbourhoods. If crime gets worse and the city becomes dirtier, I'll consider Calgary, but we've got some unique ideas. Watch out."

Calgarian: "I suppose I've never lived back east, I don't really know. Mind you, I don't have much to complain about either."
by A.J.R. October 25, 2006
A grossly overrated, sad excuse for a city that is filled with soulless, greedy individuals who think they are the shit. A town of red neck racists and nerds who think they got it goin on but seriously lack any sense of culture or heritage. A town with no appreciation for little things like art...music...comedy or indviduality. Its filled with clones and white collar wannabes (male and female).The females are the worst kind...Fake, stuck up and money hungry. The dudes are mostly quasi-homosexuals who have no swagger whatsoever and rely completely on their leased Escalades to attract these wack bitches. Just a sad sight to see. Having lived and worked in both Calgary and Edmonton, I gotta go with Etown every time. I suppose its what your into really. Neither is particularly amazing, but Cowtown really just has NO heart. And for my money, I prefer to stay down the REAL people(Edmontonians) and stay far away from all the fakers and the haters(Calgarians).
Yeah, my favorite band is coming to Calgary, but I will definitley drive to Edmonton to go see them cuz atleast they know how to party up there!! This place WEEEEAAAAAKKKK!!!
by Tre Seven September 08, 2009
A pretentious city with delusions of grandeur and penis envy (Toronto's dick is way bigger). I equate Calgary to the farmboy redneck who just won the lottery and bought himself a new car, new clothes and a fancy house. You may look good, you may have money, but Calgary you still have no class or sophistication, because deep down you are still a redneck.
Gee wiz look at me, I am Calgary - a hip and cool place because of all that oil money that I dug up from the ground but didn't really have to use by brains or ingenuity to create. Shhh, please don't tell my master Toronto.
by Toronto the Great May 05, 2007
Calgary is a beautiful city in western Canuckistan. It is known by insiders for a nearly omnipotent police force; indeed, the Calgary police regularly catches heinous criminals in the act of parking more than 200 cm from the curb.

The city with the most insanely expensive cars per capita.

For the mathematically inclined, Calgary's road system was designed from scratch to be an example that shows that solving NP-complete problems while driving is bad.

Calgary consistently ranks in the top 10 cities in terms of quality of life and eco-friendliness. These are less defining characteristics, and more properties. However, a defining characteristic is that Calgary receives the second strongest Chinook winds; Lethebridge receiving the strongest Chinook winds. Chinook winds are sent by the Gods to make everyone sick by quickly altering the temperature from -20 to +20.
Driver: I got a ticket for having my steering wheel turned to 22 degrees while parked.
Friend: You must have parked in Calgary.
At a distance...
Police trainee (to Officer): Shouldn't I feel bad about giving such ridiculous tickets.
Police officer: No. Everybody in Calgary is rich.
----
Newcomer to Calgary: Whoa, is that a Ferrari being followed by a Lamborghini?
Calgarian: Pick your jaw up! I bought two last week, you can have one if you want.
----
Driver: How do I get to your place; I'm on the opposite end of the city?
Friend on phone: It's easy. Just solve the k-Clique problem for k=33.
----
If it's too cold for you, wait 10 minutes.
by Calgarian November 08, 2011
First nations (Blackfoot tribe) to mean "where rivers meet" reffering to the bow and elbow river
Bow and elbow river meet in calgary
by roylay February 08, 2013
Calgary sucks. It's a city of large hats, brother-sister love, stretchmarks, and small trophy cases. Calgarians only have one personality: hick. It is the fattest city in Alberta, and the 3rd fattest in western Canada. It is not nicknamed "Cowtown" for nothing.

Calgary Stampede sucks. When the horses go through the streets for their annual redneck parade they don't bother cleaning the shit up because it just blends in with the rest of the crap in Calgary.

Calgary sports fans suck. They have a massive inferiority complex towards their northern neighbors because they have almost triple the number of championships. They are more passionate about hating the Oilers than loving the Flames. Any mention of anything to do with Edmonton will produce apoplectic rage and gnashing of teeth. (well, "tooth". It's Calgary after all)

They all jumped on the Flames bandwagon in '04 and if the Flames continue to miss the playoffs they will all jump off with a resounding crash because they are fat.
The only thing Calgary has over Edmonton is a bigger downtown, too bad it's surrounded by a giant trailer park.

What do you call 30 Flames fans in a room together? A full set of teeth.

What do you call a hottie in Calgary? A tourist.

What's the difference between a bra and the Calgary Flames? (Come one, you all know the answer).
by Die Flames March 19, 2011
clean, sterile and very unfriendly city in the middle of nowhere. the only culture is macdonalds. it has nothing of interest.
most people hate calgary, it is unliveable in the winter due to the hostile climate.
most people who live in calgary are rednecks. the only difference to texas is the climate and the fact that everything is 50% more expensive in calgary.
like in texas rednecks do not believe in science, most people here believe in superstition, the average education is extremely low.
the only attraction here are the mountains. anyway, the bc side of the rockies is more beautiful and the people are nicer there.
highlight for the rednecks is the annual animal torture show.
in normal countries people celebrate by singing and dancing. rednecks in calgary celebrate by torturing and killing healthy animals like horses and bulls.

the government in alberta/calgary is bloated. cost of living is one of the highest in the world.

doctors are impossible to find, refuse service to customers.

in case of a disease you will need to go to a hospital.
by fredolin July 13, 2009

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