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31.
Dynamic Western Canadian City 77 miles east of Rocky Mountains. Originally the area was inhabited by first nations people. Later a Fort was built on the confluence of the Bow and Elbow rivers by the Northwest Mounted Police. Soon after hardy, independent immigrant settlers from Europe and Chinese bulding the railroad arrived and began farming and ranching. The Ranching business and meat packing industry resulted inCalgary becoming "Cowtown" The town still becomes Cowtown during Stampede, Calgary's annual summer festival of fun and nonsense and a summer break from hard work. Following the discovery of petroleum and natural gas at Brooks, Turner Valley, Bow Island and Leduc Calgary became the business centre for the oil and gas business. Engineering, Geoscience, technology, land and finance seems to be focused more in Calgary. Edmonton closer to the northern oil and gas discoveries, and "Gateway to the North" ended up as the staging ground for exploration and the "hardware store" and service center for the oilpatch. It is markedly different from Calgary but a great city as well. Calgary has a hard work ethic sometimes verging on workaholism and yet it plays hard too. Calgarians and Albertans in general are very generous with time, money and talents. Average people and millionaires rub shoulders in countless community charitable efforts. Most people who move to Calgary end up liking it as people are traditionally friendly and neighbourly although the boom times have attracted many who don't care to work
and are here only to take all they can get without giving back. Some by crime and violence. Those sorry mutts who bitch and complain about Calgary are in the main shallow callow self absorbed young twits /twats who have never seen the rest of the world other than in a rock video and are the sad pointless nihilistic effluent of an education system run by spoiled leftist whingers who are never happy with much of anything. We have to keep reminding them that if they hate Calgary there are 50 or sixty fligts and dozens of buses a day back to Butthole, Ontario or wherever it is that they think is utopia. Toronto ? Hah! Plenty of bridges to bail off of right into the icy cold anaesthetizing waters of the Beautiful clean Bow River. A fine trout stream. So take your enormous ecological footprint stats and shove them up your tigt eastern sphincters! As well Calgary has a better educated, well travelled, more internationally cospmopolitan population than nearly anywhere in Canada. Granted Calgary has problems with traffic, Hummer driving louts, flashy greedhead opportunists , smelly addicted beggars, useless waste of skin druggies, vandals and brain dead graffiti "artists." and the aformentioned leftist vegetarian dorks. The nice thing is that having been through a few of these g-damned booms we know that once the bloom is off the boom the whole scummy works all get back on the Greyhound with their orange Hefty bag luggage and head back to whatever rock they crawled out from under to come here. We hose down the spots they have skulked and lolled around so as to wash away the dreck foul odours and soon all is good and happy again. We are hoping it will be real soon.
by Works for Food September 04, 2006
 
8.
A sterile, livable and modest Canadian city, with professional sports teams for entertainment. A stone's throw from the Rockies, but that doesn't actually affect the quality of the city.
It's not even close to a "world city", but Calgary has the most potential to grow of any Canadian city. With the oil economy, the imigrants are coming from across the globe and local art scenes will develop.
A city with some minority of fanatics that really like to insult Toronto for no apparent reason. But they are not the voice of the city.
Calgarian: "Fuck Toronto, those pakis and gangster wannabes can stay where they are. Calgary is so much better, we have the stampede."

Torontonian: "Calgary's pretty cool, I love Banff and the Rockies. Last time I was there I missed the stampede by a couple of days, and didn't really do anything memorable. Stop talking bullshit about my hometown! It's a lot more dynamic in the arts, dining, diversity and the neighbourhoods. If crime gets worse and the city becomes dirtier, I'll consider Calgary, but we've got some unique ideas. Watch out."

Calgarian: "I suppose I've never lived back east, I don't really know. Mind you, I don't have much to complain about either."
by A.J.R. October 25, 2006
 
9.
Calgary is a beautiful city in western Canuckistan. It is known by insiders for a nearly omnipotent police force; indeed, the Calgary police regularly catches heinous criminals in the act of parking more than 200 cm from the curb.

The city with the most insanely expensive cars per capita.

For the mathematically inclined, Calgary's road system was designed from scratch to be an example that shows that solving NP-complete problems while driving is bad.

Calgary consistently ranks in the top 10 cities in terms of quality of life and eco-friendliness. These are less defining characteristics, and more properties. However, a defining characteristic is that Calgary receives the second strongest Chinook winds; Lethebridge receiving the strongest Chinook winds. Chinook winds are sent by the Gods to make everyone sick by quickly altering the temperature from -20 to +20.
Driver: I got a ticket for having my steering wheel turned to 22 degrees while parked.
Friend: You must have parked in Calgary.
At a distance...
Police trainee (to Officer): Shouldn't I feel bad about giving such ridiculous tickets.
Police officer: No. Everybody in Calgary is rich.
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Newcomer to Calgary: Whoa, is that a Ferrari being followed by a Lamborghini?
Calgarian: Pick your jaw up! I bought two last week, you can have one if you want.
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Driver: How do I get to your place; I'm on the opposite end of the city?
Friend on phone: It's easy. Just solve the k-Clique problem for k=33.
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If it's too cold for you, wait 10 minutes.
by Calgarian November 08, 2011
 
10.
A grossly overrated, sad excuse for a city that is filled with soulless, greedy individuals who think they are the shit. A town of red neck racists and nerds who think they got it goin on but seriously lack any sense of culture or heritage. A town with no appreciation for little things like art...music...comedy or indviduality. Its filled with clones and white collar wannabes (male and female).The females are the worst kind...Fake, stuck up and money hungry. The dudes are mostly quasi-homosexuals who have no swagger whatsoever and rely completely on their leased Escalades to attract these wack bitches. Just a sad sight to see. Having lived and worked in both Calgary and Edmonton, I gotta go with Etown every time. I suppose its what your into really. Neither is particularly amazing, but Cowtown really just has NO heart. And for my money, I prefer to stay down the REAL people(Edmontonians) and stay far away from all the fakers and the haters(Calgarians).
Yeah, my favorite band is coming to Calgary, but I will definitley drive to Edmonton to go see them cuz atleast they know how to party up there!! This place WEEEEAAAAAKKKK!!!
by Tre Seven September 08, 2009
 
11.
A pretentious city with delusions of grandeur and penis envy (Toronto's dick is way bigger). I equate Calgary to the farmboy redneck who just won the lottery and bought himself a new car, new clothes and a fancy house. You may look good, you may have money, but Calgary you still have no class or sophistication, because deep down you are still a redneck.
Gee wiz look at me, I am Calgary - a hip and cool place because of all that oil money that I dug up from the ground but didn't really have to use by brains or ingenuity to create. Shhh, please don't tell my master Toronto.
by Toronto the Great May 05, 2007
 
12.
First nations (Blackfoot tribe) to mean "where rivers meet" reffering to the bow and elbow river
Bow and elbow river meet in calgary
by roylay February 08, 2013
 
13.
Calgary sucks. It's a city of large hats, brother-sister love, stretchmarks, and small trophy cases. Calgarians only have one personality: hick. It is the fattest city in Alberta, and the 3rd fattest in western Canada. It is not nicknamed "Cowtown" for nothing.

Calgary Stampede sucks. When the horses go through the streets for their annual redneck parade they don't bother cleaning the shit up because it just blends in with the rest of the crap in Calgary.

Calgary sports fans suck. They have a massive inferiority complex towards their northern neighbors because they have almost triple the number of championships. They are more passionate about hating the Oilers than loving the Flames. Any mention of anything to do with Edmonton will produce apoplectic rage and gnashing of teeth. (well, "tooth". It's Calgary after all)

They all jumped on the Flames bandwagon in '04 and if the Flames continue to miss the playoffs they will all jump off with a resounding crash because they are fat.
The only thing Calgary has over Edmonton is a bigger downtown, too bad it's surrounded by a giant trailer park.

What do you call 30 Flames fans in a room together? A full set of teeth.

What do you call a hottie in Calgary? A tourist.

What's the difference between a bra and the Calgary Flames? (Come one, you all know the answer).
by Die Flames March 19, 2011
 
14.
Calgary, Alberta, Canada is only aprox. 80 km(50m) from the Canadian Rockies. With a population of over 1,000,000 it is the largest municipality in Alberta and 3rd largest city in Canada.

Downtown is small but there are some pretty great places. Uptown 17th ave is great for shopping, as well as the Core (TD, the Bay, Scotia Center, Holt Renfrew). Great restaurants, pubs, bars and lots of oil companies.

Great pot in this city, and great prices. Fun club scene, and great pubs.

Calgary Stampede comes every second week of July, and its the only time this city lives up to its hick stereotype. Alberta is full of small municipalities with huge trucks, fields of cows and horses, and more liquor stores per capita then anywhere else but the larger cities within Alberta are not anything like this despite what you may have heard.

The summer time weather can usually be very hot and dry, but only rarely reaches 30C. It commonly rains and even snows during summer, but it is likely that it will clear up within 15 minutes. Winter is cold here, I kid you not we have at least 6 or 7 months of it here too. With temperatures dropping well below 0, too -25 and lower.

Commonly called: Calgs, Ctown, Cowtown, YYC, 401
Pronounced Cal-grie not Cal-gary
Where can i buy this for cheaper?

While personally i'd move to calgary cause the tax is only 5%
by 420420420heythatswhatsup July 30, 2011