Cactus Cock, or Cactoid Dong Disorder(CDD), is no joke and should be taken seriously by all. If you have developed a case of Desert Dick, and proceed to masturbate (beat the hell out of your dong) you will be hit with a case of Cactus Cock. Signs include, but are not limited to: Yellow penis and dick head, menstrual like discharge from the urethra on a weekly basis, an odor more powerful than swass or swalls, and dry mouth...
There is no known cure for the Cactoid Dong Disorder.
Guy 1: "Aw man! can you smell that? It smells like someone puked in a sweaty ass and then fucked it!"
Guy 2: "Hey! come on man, have some sympathy, I've got Cactus Cock and now my dick smells like shit!"
by Dismal Pole69 August 26, 2009

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Top Definition
A medical condition in males that stems from shaving the genitals, resulting in pubic hairs, in the early stages of their growth, to be prickly, itchy, and short, resembling the prickers on a cactus.
Friend 1: "Did you get to bang Nicole last night?"

Friend 2: "No man, she said I need to shave and get rid of that cactus cock. What a fucking bitch!"
by Matt Schroeder April 24, 2008

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When a mans pubes are so thick and coarse that when he pulls out after sex several of his pubes are still stuck in the womans pubus region (like when you touch a cactus)
1. Oh man, My vag is sore, shawns got a major "cactus cock"

2. "I had sex with a guy who had cactus cock and i've been pulling his pubes out of my thighs and labia for days" exclaimed Emily
by em-dash July 05, 2009

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When you spend too much time in a hot climate, whenever you are exposed to even slightly cold weather, your penis gets incredibly small.
Spent too much time in the sauna, and the whole next day I had cactus cock.
via giphy
by The_Smoke_Brothers January 26, 2017

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When you stop your routine of cock grooming, producing a prickly love sausage.
"Damn Eddie O...put that cock on the window sill and water it...you aint getting in me with that cactus cock"
by Grand Jury Fury Eddie O February 13, 2015

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also known as CC when needing to be discreet regarding this issue, Cactuc Cock is when a male has a rather THICK penis and is constantly bringing female sex partners to bleed as a result of being too thick for the vaginal cavity.
"did you hear about brads cactus cock causing some more damage again last night? Thats three girls this month he has made bleed when they have sampled the cactus"
by mexican cactus November 21, 2009

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