"It's me 'Farmer Giles' Edie, they're terrible bad at this time of year!"
"Shiver me timbers! I thought you were giving birth to a blimp - that thing makes a blue whale look like a Tic Tac!"
"Well, the doctor gave me some tablets, suppositories he called 'em, but for all the good they did I might as well have shoved them up my arse! Bloody bumcumbers!"