Briggsy has, over time, developed the unique talent of being able to communicate with the largest living land animals through the use of his incredibly deep voice which has an expansive range of between 300-600km. He has honed this ability onto preying on any women over 16st in weight. It is rumoured that his deep tones have attractive qualities for these women, so they are easily lured into his miniscule frame.
What's that rumbling? the ground is starting to shake...is it the sound of Briggsy the Elephant Whisperer luring his pie eating salad dodgers or is it a herd of the fat 'meat-wagons' travelling to his lair?
by sunday roast with two sows August 24, 2006