|1.||Brian Scates Syndrome|
Brian Scates Syndrome (BSS) is a terminal illness that afflicts outstanding athletes beginning their freshman career of high school. BSS is characterized by excessive inhalation of the cannabis plant and an insatiable urge to skip practice, conditioning, and film sessions. If not treated immediately, BSS results in wasted potential, lost scholarships, and a dramatic decline in both social status and societal worth. Millions of student athletes die to BSS each year. If you believe a friend or loved one may be a victim of BSS, please seek help at once.
The later stages of BSS manifest in an inexplicable desire to replicate Avatar: The Last Airbender, and shave an arrow into one's own hair.
As of now, there are no females known to be susceptible to BSS.
Hey, did that kid (insert name here) make it into the (insert professional league here)?" "No, he developed Brian Scates Syndrome early and now works at (insert fast food joint here).