Sequel to Twilight
, New Moon
, also known as an epic fail
to those who do not suffer from SMeyer glorification.
Gave birth to the demon spawn nudger Renesmee Carlie Cullen (a.k.a. Nessie)
And with its release it destroyed a fan base with a mere 800 pages
Nothing equals this epic fail, also known as Breaking Dawn, I lack examples.
The fourth and final installment of the widely popular Twilight
series. Though highly anticipated, it is considered to be a disappointment to most fans of the series. It has been largely criticized for its illogical and often dull plot and for straying from the original style of the books.
I can't believe this book is actually the Breaking Dawn we were waiting for.
An insult to literature; the absolute worst book of the Twilight Saga
-Bella (18 year old human) and Edward (108 year old vampire) get married.
-Bella and Edward have vampire sex and Bella ends up with bruises and feathers all over her body (Edward bit a pillow)
-Her eggo gets preggo (major plot hole- Edward is a vampire so his sperm is dead) with a demon child that sucks her blood and breaks her ribs, pelvis, and spine from the inside of her uterus.
-Edward gives Bella a C-section with his teeth.
-They name the baby RENESMEE. poor kid. gonna get beat up in the school yard. :/
-Bella becomes a vampire and they have sex a bunch of times.
-Volturi want to kill Renesmee
-For 200 pgs, they fret and worry about how they're all gonna die
-They convince the Volturi Renesmee isn't a threat. That's right, no fight scene or anything.
-They live happily ever after. Even the title of the last chapter is titled "Happily Ever After"
I recommend this book to: airheads, morons, anyone who wants to spoon their eyes out
Edward: Forever and forever and forever...
(the ending to Breaking Dawn = corny)
The fourth and final installment of the hugely popular saga, Twilight. It is best know for lacking a decent, gripping plot that makes sense, and the creation of a mutant-vampire-baby-freak Renesmee.
A 12 step sum up of Breaking Dawn
1. Bella marries Edward in a sickeningly-sweet wedding.
2. They go on honeymoon and consummate their marriage (although re-reading is needed to understand that they actually did do it) using pillows and headboards.
3. Edward beats the shit out of Bella during the unmentioned act and vows not to do it again until she is a vampire (which, in all honestly, is really quiet sensible and realistic), but she then seduces him and they continue the unmentioned.
4. Bella becomes pregnant by mutant vampire sperm attacking her womb. Edward know this will hurt her and wants her to get rid of it (again, sensible), but Bella stupidly falls in love with the baby freak and will not allow it.
5. The pregnancy is dragged on through about 100 pages of boringness interspersed with gross vampire pregnancy-ness.
6. Bella FINALLY gives birth in a terrifying R rated movie way, which involved the baby exploding from her insides (think if the movie Alien), which breaking her bones, basically destroying her. Oh yeah, and Edward gives her a C-section with his teeth. Yum.
7. Jacob the werewolf imprints on the mutant baby. Poor Jacob.
8. Bella becomes a vampire and they all play happy family for about 200 VERY LONG pages.
9. The Volturi find out a...
A much anticipated book by very talented author Stephanie Meyer...which turned out to be a horrible fanfiction-like pile of crap
"Breaking Dawn = Epic Fail"
Person A: I don't know whether to cry, burn it, or return it
Person B: Yeah, I think part of me just died
Me: WTF Stephanie Meyer?!
The last chapter of the Twilight Saga which was an epic fail
; can be used to refer to epic fails.
That movie was such a Breaking Dawn.
Quite possibly the worst book in history:
Read the first 50 pages...
Put it down...
Promised self to try and read it later... Didn't read it later...
Regretted not returning it after losing the reciept.
This book is sitting on my shelf and waiting for me to run out of firewood.
After trying to get through the first part of Breaking Dawn, I immediately gave up and asked my obsessed friends for a plot synopsis. >.<