The fourth and final installment of the hugely popular saga, Twilight. It is best know for lacking a decent, gripping plot that makes sense, and the creation of a mutant-vampire-baby-freak Renesmee.
A 12 step sum up of Breaking Dawn
1. Bella marries Edward in a sickeningly-sweet wedding.
2. They go on honeymoon and consummate their marriage (although re-reading is needed to understand that they actually did do it) using pillows and headboards.
3. Edward beats the shit out of Bella during the unmentioned act and vows not to do it again until she is a vampire (which, in all honestly, is really quiet sensible and realistic), but she then seduces him and they continue the unmentioned.
4. Bella becomes pregnant by mutant vampire sperm attacking her womb. Edward know this will hurt her and wants her to get rid of it (again, sensible), but Bella stupidly falls in love with the baby freak and will not allow it.
5. The pregnancy is dragged on through about 100 pages of boringness interspersed with gross vampire pregnancy-ness.
6. Bella FINALLY gives birth in a terrifying R rated movie way, which involved the baby exploding from her insides (think if the movie Alien), which breaking her bones, basically destroying her. Oh yeah, and Edward gives her a C-section with his teeth. Yum.
7. Jacob the werewolf imprints on the mutant baby. Poor Jacob.
8. Bella becomes a vampire and they all play happy family for about 200 VERY LONG pages.
9. The Volturi find out about the mutant baby Reneesme, uh-oh. Finally some action!
10. Preparations are made for the Volturi's arrival; you begin to feel slightly interested in the book, wondering who will die (hopefully the freak child).
11. The Volturi come, 100 pages of discussion and they leave. No fight, no (real) deaths. The suspense was for nothing. You begin to start the fire to burn the book.
12. They return to playing happy family. Insert book in fire.
Yeah, Breaking Dawn. The only thing it has broken is thousands of dedicated fans' souls. Thanks Meyer.
Fan 1: Did you read Breaking Dawn?
Fan 2: Yeah, I just finished it now.
Fan 1: Wanna come found to my house and burn it with me?
The final installment in the twilight saga that crushed the souls of thousands and thousands of crazed teenaged girls with it's horrible and slightly perverted themes.more...
- Bella, the human, and Edward, the vampire, get married.
- Then they have rough sex that leaves her bruised and battered. (Also, he bites a pillow and covers her with feathers.)
- Then she gets totally pregnant with some kind of demon death baby who grows at a superhuman rate, can read thoughts in the womb, drinks blood in utero, and breaks Bella's ribs, pelvis, and spine from the inside.
- Some werewolf stuff happens and Jacob (20 year old werewolf) falls in love with the tiny demon death baby which sparked many confused and slightly disturbed comments and thoughts in readers around the country.
- The baby is delivered via Cesarean section, which is a polite way of saying that other characters rip Bella's stomach open with their teeth. ("Seriously, they cannot make this into a movie. I cannot imagine for one second how they could make this into a movie appropriate for teenage girls and keep this part in it.")
- Bella becomes a vampire and develops superpowers and has sex with Edward a lot of times.
- Everybody lives happily forever after.
The book does however leave one major unanswered question: What's it like doing it with the undead? "Was it like fucking a popsicle?" Alas, we'll never know.
The book was me...
Will henceforth be known as "Breaking FAIL, "EPIC FAIL", or "FAILBOAT EPIC".
The final instalment in the bewilderingly popular Twilight saga about Mary Sue and Gary Stu and their sparkly love of doom.
So bad, it warranted book-returning petitions.
That Breaking Dawn book made my brain hurt.
The, by far, worst of the Twilght saga, and a huge disappointment. Fans everywhere are claiming they are over the books because of the completely horrible plot of Breaking Dawn. Many people are complaining about Stephenie Meyer going back on what she had said before about vampires being able to have children. She should have mentioned the certain type of vampire that can in fact, have children.
Quite a few fans decided not to buy the book because of the spoilers that were released before the book was coming out. Someone got ahold of the first seven chapters, and many did not buy the atrocity Stephenie Meyer called a book because of it.
Are you buying Breaking Dawn??
Yeah, I need kindling for my fireplace.
1. The final installment of the 'Twilight' saga by Stephenie Meyer.
2. Bad fanfiction.
3. The biggest let down. Ever.
Girl: Dude, he dumped me! I feel so let down.
Friend: That is such a Breaking Dawn.
The final installment of the ever popular, "Twilight" Saga.
Although titled "Breaking Dawn", Breaking Records is more like it. Even three months before it's released, and it's already on the top ten Barnes & Noble Bestseller List!
In Breaking Dawn, we will finally be exposed the fate of Edward & Bella.
The fourth book in the popular Twilight saga, and a terrible waste of money and time.
Not only did it not even compare to the quality of the first three volumes, it also mangled multiple beloved characters, lacked a climax, read like a bad fanfiction and produced possibly the worst name in existence.
It disappointed many long-time fans, and did not deserve the hype it got.
After reading Breaking Dawn, I only felt a strong urge to strangle cannibaby, (otherwise known as Reneesme Carlie Cullen) not a sense of closure.
What is this "Breaking Dawn" you speak of? Fourth Twilight book?
No, the saga ended at Eclipse. There is no such thing as Renesmee, Bella's nasty hormones, or stuffing her face with eggs that Edward made for her on their unrealistic island in the sun, or Jacob becoming just as much of a pedophile as Edward is.
Breaking Dawn never happened. It was just a bad dream people. Wake up now.
Last page of Eclipse:
"I pushed my legs faster, letting Jacob Black disappear behind me...
but then I turned back around and forced that filthy bloodsucker to turn Bella into a vampire before he could knock her up so that little monster was never born, and then I hooked up with Leah. Happily ever after."
Breaking Dawn. Pssht.