|1.||Boner of Contention|
The situation that arises, as it were, when you have a major erection and your wife, girlfriend or boyfriend isn't into having sex with you. The offending and engorged member is referred to the boner of contention.
My wife was napping the other day and I showed up with a woody. She dick slapped me and we've been dealing with the boner of contention ever since.