The phrase Blue Screen of Death has its origins in the maritime trade, particularly buccaneer lore of the sixteenth century. When a ship is sunk, all that is left is the morbidly still ocean, glistening bright blue in the Caribbean sun. Thus, when one heads out to sea, with the intention of meeting another boat, and all one sees is the rolling blue ocean, one can sadly assume that that boat has sunk.

The phrase became absorbed into common language as a term referring to the feeling of empty hopelessness one experiences when faced with a vast expanse of watery oblivion. Staring out into Lake Windermere, the great poet William Bleak was sufficiently moved by the still blueness that he wrote his masterpiece "Songs of Death", eventually going on to kick-start the goth movement.

With the advent of air travel in the twentieth century, it became applicable to the sky, as well as the sea: many an early airman was deemed lost to the Blue Screen of Death (although quite a few of them simply turned out to have gotten slightly lost and landed in the wrong place). Over time the Blue Screen has become synonymous with loss, emptiness and to some, the Devil.

The association of the colour blue with death, watery or otherwise, is readily visible throughout modern civilisation. Household cleaners such as bleach are packaged in blue bottles, in memory of those who, when the product was new to the market, mistook it for cheap ouzo and passed away through dissolution of the digestive tract. When one sings "The Blues" one is reflecting on the brevity of life, and the oblivion that awaits in death. Cheese and onion crisps, known to be the foulest of all snack foods, often come packaged in blue to ward off the purchaser.

With this in mind, that the "Blue Screen of Death" is the most chilling and deadly entity in computer science is no surprise. They have been plaguing computer operators since someone had the bright idea of connecting a screen to a computer. This is one of the most puzzling phenomina in computing since during the 60's, 70's and 80's the Blue Screen of Death was able to manifest itself in full blueness on green and amber monochrome cathode, black and white, and two tone LCD screens

The Blue Screen of Death was slipped into the very core of the Windows operating system at its inception, by a malicious developer with a sick interest in pagan rites. It is rumoured that when one sees the Blue Screen of Death on a computer screen it wrenches a tiny part of your soul and binds it to the afflicted machine. Repeated exposure, legend has it, will eventually drain one's spirit, leaving a living corpse, pale and restless, existing without purpose and an unquenchable thirst for caffeine.

A recent evolution of the "Blue Screen of Death" feature in Windows Vista has serious side effects. Instead of simply displaying a "blue screen", the new variant displays random flashing colors in a superhypnobrainwave pattern, causing the user to have a seizure and die within 195 hours of continuous seizure. The seizures are extremely painful for the 195 hours, then the seizure-ee suddenly feels a jabbing pain in their lower upper thigh and dies. 96.3141592% of these seizures last for the full 195 hours. The colors of the screen randomly flash between red, green and blue and actually cause death, so this variant of the "Blue Screen" should instead be called an epileptic screen of red, green and blue death, but Microsoft have decided to make the feature part of their new family of software - creating "Windows Live Screen of Death Beta".

The blue screen of death has had many social consequences. The Catholic Church has condemmed the blue screen of death for promoting a "culture of death". Instead, the church favors the "Ooops" kernel messages generated by linux. The phrase "Ooops" is a sacred part of Roman Catholic tradition, as it is the sound an Irish women makes when she realizes that the rythem method of birth control doesn't work.

A recent study conducted by an up and coming university Massachusetts Institute of Technology, located in Chicago, has managed to determine the Blue Screen of Death as cause of other incidents. It was an extensive study, conducted for over 30 years by a group of under-fed under-grad students.

Incidents: broken computer equipment; violent crime and suicide increase; loss of data and home made movies; wet floor and terrified expression on the face of a person that used the computer last; mysterious deaths of occupants in high-tech residences; increase in drugs abuse; and many more.

It is also possible to see a yellow screen of death, if you are colour-blind. While the BSOD has been known to cause many many heartattacks, it has also been known to cause coniptions as well as the ability to gain super human strength and shoot eye beams into your computer monitor. Please, do not have a heart attack if it happens to you.
“Damn You Bill Gates.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Blue screen of death
by kodiac1 July 05, 2006
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Microsoft's most successful program
"At microsoft, we are running out of money, so we will now charge you for the blue screen of death"
by Carl November 20, 2003
The main screen of Windows.
Windows has been running for 2 minutes now. We can thusly expect a Blue Screen Of Death right about... now.
by Spork August 27, 2003
Blue screen that you're all too familiar with if you use an older version of windows. If you can't wait the ten minutes it takes to crash, just put a floppy disk or cd in and then take it out while trying to load something from it.
Last year at my school there was a slideshow with pictures of the seniors at an assembly. I laughed my ass off when the blue screen of death showed up halfway through their shitty powerpoint presentation.
by Chris April 30, 2004
An error message on a blue screen and uses the MS-DOS font. This happens when major or "fatal" errors occur. In some cases you can press any key "to continue," but sometimes pressing CTRL+ALT+DEL may be required, and in rare cases you will have to power off the computer due to the keyboard not responding or getting a "System halted._" message.
Windows ME sucks. I get blue screens of death 24/7.
by gs6 December 22, 2002
A Windows Problem in which your RAM isn't capable of the program you are running. Happens most often in Windows 98 or Windows 98SE
Amazing, I haven't had the blue screen of death in 2 hours. Quick honey, call Ripleys Beleive it or not.
by Kevin L July 09, 2004
a cruel joke played by bill gates. a blue colored screen that appears whilst using any of the windows operating systems, whether you have done something wrong with the computer or not. it prompts you to press any key to return to windows, or press ctrl alt del, but generally neither work. therefore your computer "dies" and it makes you want a mac even more every time you get the blue screen of death.
fuck you bill gates
windows is fucking gay

what the fuck, the blue screen of death sucks ass. what a great idea to have an operating system with so many holes in it that crashes your computer all the time.
by marie September 18, 2004
What you tend to see every 30 minutes when using Windows ME.
Women love the Blue Screen of Death because, when stared at for hours on end, adds "gorgeous highlights" to their hair.
by Bastardized Bottomburp August 16, 2003
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