a blowjob performed on a person who is asleep
"Man, I woke up and that skank was giving me a bivens"!
by Mr. Bivens May 25, 2008
A person who got beaten up everyday in high school, and now spends all his time posting inane stuff on the internet. Bivens very rarely leaves the house, except to go to LAN parties so he can talk about how "leet" he is. May or may not be attracted to one of the Hanson brothers.
What, did you lose another girlfriend to Ditech.com? You're such a Bivens.
by Lunarian March 17, 2005

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