|1.||Big Spicy Manhugs|
As any rational, non-stupid person may have noticed, homophobia is excessively prevalent in our society. Therefore, in my capacities as The Legendary Wordsmith Eric, I have taken it upon myself to devise a new method of homophobe combat. In the event that you find yourself being compared to a bundle of sticks during an illiterate's tantrum, "Big Spicy Manhugs" are quite an effective tool with which to frighten and confuse your verbal attacker into submission.
Also, they make for an exceptionally excellent greeting, upon entering a chat room. By judging the reactions to "Big spicy manhugs for all!", you can often sort out those who are worthy of friendship, and those who are worthy of a good thorough taunting.
On a side note.. the ladies are quite fond of my big spicy manhug.
An Angry Child: '(ICP/Korn/Limp Bizkit/Good Charlotte/Eminem/etc.) fukin rules dont u agree?'
The Legendary Wordsmith Eric: "No, I'm afraid that I am not a (term for a rabid fan of said musical group), nor am I at all fond of (ICP/Korn/Limp Bizkit/Good Charlotte/Eminem/etc.)."
An Angry Child: 'wtf ur so gay ima kill u wit my hatchet u fag0rt!'
TLWE: "You, my friend, appear to have some anger-management issues. Perhaps you did not receieve enough love and attention, as a child.. perhaps you were sexually assaulted by a clown, and feel the need to lash out at strangers as an expression of your eternal shame. Either way, I think you deserve a hug."
An Angry Child: 'no dont u touch me u fuckin fagort!'
TWLE: "...A big spicy manhug."
An Angry Child: 'omg now i have caught teh gay!', at which point his feeble mind exploded under the perceived assault against his already-weakened state of sexual security.
Alas, this conversation isn't that much of an exaggeration, nor is it a rare occurrance.