"Get out of my way, I've got like 15 seconds until I Best Buy in my pants."
Employee: Would you like to sign up for a Best Buy card today?
Customer: No thanks.
Employee: Do you have a Best Buy Rewards card?
Employee: Would you like to sign up? It’s only $9.99 and for every $125 you spend…
Customer: No thanks.
Employee: Would you like to purchase an Extended Service Plan on this? If anything goes wrong in the next 4 years…
Employee: Would you like to sign up for 4 free weeks of Sports Illustrated or Entertain…
Employee: Would you like to try Netflix free for 2…
Employee: Would you like to try a free trial of Rhapsody music service? It allows you to…
Employee: Your Purchase today enables you to get a free trial of an Internet Service Provider. We offer AOL, Net Zero…
Customer: NO GOD DAMNIT!
Employee: The cables that come with this are very low quality. I would recommend getting some Monster Cables. They’re only 69.99 and will greatly increase sound and picture quality.
Customer: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM???
Employee: Would you like any extra batteries to go with your remote?
Customer: FUCK YOU!
Employee: On the bottom of your receipt there’s a survey and if you do it you will be put in a drawing to win a $500 Best Buy gift card.
Customer: SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
If you purchase a DVD the day/week it comes out, Best Buy gives you a discount on it.
Customer: good u
Cashier: im great! did u find everything okay today?
Customer: uh yeah.
Cashier: super! are u a rewards zone member?
Customer: no and i dont want-
Cashier: GREAT! ill go ahead and sign u up for a free membership today! all i need is ur phone number and address
Customer: no i really dont want one, i have too many cards
Cashier: oh come on its free! every time u spend $250 u get $5 back and other discount coupons on popular items!
Customer: alright fine..
Cashier: and im gonna give u some information about our reward zone credit card that gives u double the points for using it in the store and regular points wen u use it outside of best buy.
Cashier: and on this item we have a 4 year service plan for $99.99. it covers, dust, heat, humidity, normal wear and tear, power surge, and any defects with the product.
Customer: no ill be fine without it.
Cashier: i would highly recommend it, considering if u deal with the manufacturer, u would end up paying for shipping and handeling as well as some parts and if best buy couldnt fix this item for u they would give u a new one.
Customer: ill live without it.
Cashier: WELL if u wanna think about it, u have 30 days to come back and purchase it. AND to thank you for shopping with us today we are GIVING you 8 weeks risk free of either People, Entertainment Weekly, Sports Illustrated, or Time magazine, which ones do u like?
Customer: no thank u.
Cashier: are u sure? it would make a great present. wouldnt ur wife like People?
Customer: no i already get enough magazines and i will forget to cancel it.
Cashier: well with the 2nd to last issue it comes along with a card that notifies u cancel the trial, its very easy
Customer: no thats really okay, i dont want it.
Cashier: alright ur total is $456.98...okay do u want ur receit with u or in the bag
Customer: the bag
Cashier: okay and on the bottom of ur receit there is a website u can go to. bestbuycares.com and if u take a fast survey its a chance to win a 10,000 dollar shopping spree.
AND ur all set. THANK U HAVE A GREAT DAY!
Derived from the famed "Beast of Buying"
A mythical Creature from the depth of hell sent to force those with weak constitutions to purchase items well beyond their price range.
see also: hell beast bargain burning flesh
Look at all the great deals, here at Best Buy.
I love Best Buy.
Best Buy is Great.
Best Buy took my children from me because I bought a damn TV and the fine print on the contract said they could.
Best Buy Manager comes by - "Are you guys ready for some roleplaying??"