Beckums (n.) bé-kum-z. A name reserved only for the most genetically beautiful and talented female offspring of the Whattakawhatee tribe in the Skandingah region of the Native Great Plains. Derives from the Indian word, Beckumah-Matata, literally translated as "one of molten-hot beauty, with angelic voice, nice rack and fondness for tundra." Legend has it that males in the region had to cover their eyes and ears to avoid seeing or hearing her in fear of an instant and embarrassing protrusion of their native crotch garb - the Breechcloth. This phenomena led to the creation of the totem pole, a monument erected to document all cases of "instant wood" caused by Beckums in Native American history
1. Tonto: Why Lone Ranger, is your face carved above mine on totem pole in my hood?
Lone Ranger: Bro, I was checking out Beckums in the teepee and in the blink of an eye, I friggin jizzed all over my gun belt and saddle. I even yelled, "Hi-yo Silver" for some stupid f'n reason.
Tonto: Welcome to the club Kemosabe...welcome to the club.