Ah, the glorious Bear Mountain: home to one of the best tasting beers man has tasted. That taste comes at a price, however. This delicious beer is heavily guarded by one of the most dangerous bear-infested mountains known to man. Make no mistake however, these are no ordinary bears: these are Bear Mountain bears making Bear Mountain Beer. Oh yes, the highly intelligent bears of Bear Mountain have passed the recipe of that sweet Bear Mountain Beer from generation to generation, resulting in the some of finest beer ever produced. For us humans to have the pleasure of consuming the Bear Mountain Beer, employees of Bear Mountain Beer International must take the risk of a lifetime: tackling the mountain in hopes of extracting some of that rich amber fluid. That alone is not the whole story though: you think the bears just make the beer? No! These are drunk angry bears that will stop at nothing to ensure the preservation of their life force. The one thing they hate more than not being drunk of their asses are human moochers harvesting their life's work. One has not lived a complete life unless they have had a nice long cold glass of Bear Mountain Beer.
"I just ordered a keg of Bear Mountain Beer. Now let's have a moment of silence for the poor workers who died in their quest for this delicious beer..."
by Lokokoko January 31, 2010