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1.
A combination of a stupid bastard and a fucking buffoon.
Bill is a total bastoon, his sex jokes and language totally cock blocked me with Julie last night.
by Panchito Sanchez May 09, 2009
 
2.
(v.) The act of being cast off to an island anywhere significantly far from home for being a bastard of gargantuan proportions.
Bob: Dude I'm bored, wheres that bastard of gargantuan proportions?

Joe: I don't know, we should totally Bastoon his ass.
by J n' U May 14, 2011