at Hair Force One...

- Haircut Sir?
- Do you have any stiff pomade for my kind of hair?
- no, but you will find some good machine shops around the corner where you can buy some axle grease for a good price.

After defecating and wiping 64 times, my rectal area appeared to be as clean and pure as the white-driven snow. However, an hour later, as the the heat and humidity increased, this just wasn't the case. My swamp ass generated a little axle grease, as evidenced by the bacon strips on the inside of my underwear (which were the size of Rhode Island.) Shootin' hoops for lengthy periods can contribute to this deplorable condition as well.