Simply the best country in the world. Yeah, some of us do live in the country with kangaroos hopping by. Like me. I do. But the majority of us live in beautiful cities by our beautiful beaches that I know you are all jealous of because our beaches rock.

We have a friendly rivalry with New Zealand. Kiwis, we really do love you. You had our backs in WW, (ANZACs all the way!) and we will always have your backs, so if you think we hate you, you're wrong. We secretly love you. But we still flog ass in rugby :P

But you have better accents than us.


Australians are very laid back, friendly, open people that will basically welcome you into their homes if you just go knocking on their doors. But don't do that, they might freak out. Strangers will smile at you and say hello on the streets, especially in Perth. Strangers will wave to you as they drive past in the country. So if you're not accustomed to amazing hot people that wave and smile at you, then don't come to Australia.
Person 1: Who is that hot awesome sexy talented tanned friendly waving person over there?

Person 2: That's an Australian.

Person 1: And who is that hot awesome sexy talented tanned friendly person with the sick accent over there? They're great. But they suck at rugby.

Person 2: That's a Kiwi.
by A Very Happy Fish :) November 02, 2012
A country which may speak retarded English, yet doesn't allow a man who can't read nor speak fluent english to become President.
"ich bin ein berliner"
by Crocodile Dundee June 04, 2005
The correct name for the element Au. The properties of this fine element are numerous. First, there are no electrons. Rather, the elements 15 neutrons circle around the nucleus. Also, this is the only element on the Periodic Table to have complete sexes. That's right, there are both male and female varieties of these atoms. Note: While they are mostly similar, once or month or so, the female australium do act strangely

But perhaps the most peculiar thing about this element is its atomic weight. -4.pi

Truly, an amazing element to behold
Damn, that Australium messes you up.

No duh, its atomic weight is -4.pi. What did you expect?
by The one the only J-man May 04, 2005
Sorry aussie folks, but australia was formed when a bunch of British convicts were shipped there and started to populate. So in reality, your all descendants of criminals. :D
Unsuspecting tourist: Here, can you hold my camera please?

Australian Criminal: Sure thing! (Runs for the hills)

by Bubs_13 October 23, 2007
A large, diverse country that culturally is like the UK & America in the 1950's.
A mostly anti intellectual, lazy, vacuous, boozy white population & overly sport obsessed. Sore losers, which is odd because most of its heroes are losers - The ANZACS at Gallipoli, Ned Kelly, Shane Warne.

A high standard of living due mostly to mining - selling iron ore to China which we buy back as cheap junk, thereby burying our own industry.

It has conveniently forgotten most of its ugly history, its Treatment of Aborigines Convicts White Australia Policy.
Australia has an entrenched inferiority complex means it has kowtowed to the UK & now America to defend it & do its thinking for it.
Not a very friendly place as some say, unless you like beer, tits, sport, can't spell & practice self abasement. Suspicious of people with big ideas.
Will turn into more of a gulag as political correctness competes with its racism. A sad place when you get thinking about it.
by Nazarine 59 April 22, 2011
The country everyone wants to get out of. No reason for leaving is required as everyone is thinking the EXACT same thing. In fact.. any excuse will do in order to immigrate to a more worthwhile country.
Person 1: I really want to get out of Australia!

Person 2: Doesn't everyone, doesn't everyone?
by Times Tables Are Fun September 19, 2008
Also know as Peasantville.
An island in the southern hemisphere inhabited by former convicts from Britain and well as peasants from many countries other than England.
This incredible mix created a society obsessed with their own importance, beer and sport.
An average level of education in Australia is about second to third grade. For example, English grammar is not taught in this English speaking country. An apostrophe followed by an S, is considered to be plural. General knowledge of world's issues is zero.
The official flag of Australia is a dark blue singlet (affectionally called a "wife beater").
Australian national anthem is short and easy to learn: "Ozzie, ozzie, ozzie, oi, oi, oi". In actual fact the anthem did have a second verse, but it was hard to remember and was scraped by the parliament in 1996.
The melody of the anthem is non-existent. The correct way to sing it is to do so after consuming several cans of a pesticide (aka local beer).

Favourite pastimes of Australians include, but are not limited to:
Getting drunk at work, getting drunk after work, getting drunk instead of work, getting drunk at football, getting drunk at football, getting drunk at football, talking about mortgage rates, getting drunk at football.

Australians love the "brown land of ours". They express their love by throwing rubbish out of their car windows and going on holidays to Bali, where the beer is cheaper.

They dislike all other countries and feel superior to any other nation in the world, and yet they think American and buy Chinese.

Australia has a rich culture, which includes horse racing and two codes of football; Rugby and Australian Rules Football. The latter is an immensely popular game (in the state of Victoria that is) and according to Victorians it should replace all other sports in the world (with the exception of horse racing).

Australians per capita are the highest gambling peoples in the world.
Victorians hold the record in being the highest polluters per capita in the world.

The Australian dream is to possess a crap looking, badly build house (6 to an acre) and one day become the 51 state of the USA.
Australia? Where's that?
by 99% aussie March 19, 2009
A great country ''down under'' which is sadly and quite rapidly being taken over by the chinese,japanese,korenese and many other f---ingese countries!
Too much mulitcuturalism I say.
Oh and it's ok we're all derived from convicts mainly and some settlers but we'll only steal a few goodies for our sheilas back in the barns yeh?
Aussie Bloke - Goodaye mate ow' ya goin?!
American Tourist - whatcha'll saying bout ma momma?!?!?!? %@%##%^#$^#$ australian!!!!
Aussie Bloke - Oi look ay kangaroo over there mayte!!
-American Dude Looks-
Aussie Bloke -Yoink!- steals the old wallet n camera!
American Dude - I missed it man, bummerrrr!!
Aussie - ah well mayte im off goodby'!
American - Cya ya later man!! Holl;a back ya'll!!
by Aussie Joe February 06, 2007

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