|1.||Atom Bomb Assault|
A disgusting summer time sex move that requires someone to shit into a bunch of condoms and paperclip them shut a few hours before having sex, and then let them bake out on the blacktop in the hot summer sun so they have the consistency of nuclear waste. Then, right before you have sex, you need to run outside and grab the condom "bombs" and put them into a shoebox and bring them to the bedroom you are using for sex. Then, right before you bust a nut, you have to make sounds like a B-52 bomber and drop the shitty latex bombshells all over the girl you are fucking. As they fall, be sure to make sound effects like bombs hitting the ground and make sure you hit every shot because you dont want to waste any poop that you took hours to prepare. Be sure to roll around in it afterwards, making sure you have the girl locked in the alligator fuckhouse position and while youre doing that pretend that youre dying from the fake atom bombs and vibrate your body unnecessarily, hopefully you will tear the womans vagina.
John: PSshheeeewwww BOOM! PSShheewwwwww BOOM!
Tina: God fucking damnit john what are you doing
John: BOOM! RUN TINA ATOM BOMBS
Tina: no you fuck thats a condom with shit in it that is paperclipped shut!
John: quick lets go to the bomb shelter!
Tina: what bomb shelter!? i cant even move youre performing and alligator fuckhouse and i am covered in steaming shit and condoms!
John: ahh i am dying from the radiation!!
Tina: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST JOHN WHY ARE YOU SHAKING SO MUCH THE POOP IS ALL OVER!
John: wow that was a great Atom Bomb Assault im glad i spent all my money on that big box of condoms and filled them with poop and threw them at you.
Old Lady 1: What are those condom shits in the street?
Old Lady 2: oh its just the neighbor John preparing his shits for an Atom Bomb Assault tonight.
Old Lady 1: Oh i remember the days when i used to do that
Old Lady 2: Yeah right when Carl got back from Japan, he showed me how he bombed Hiroshima by doing it to me. I was so proud of him.
Old Lady 1: Ahh to be young and covered in shit