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1.
Using a woman's ass cheeks to get yourself off.
Ellena was a bit too fat for me to bang, but I flipped her over and pulled an asshands on her.
by tdelano April 08, 2009
 
2.
1. Sticking one's hand in their ass and then shaking the hand of someone that they don't like because they are an ass.

2. After wiping your ass after going to the bathroom, you gerealized that your fingers broke thru the toilet paper
1. Awwww... I don't like this guy, I think I'll give him an ass hand!

2. Awwww... damn toilet paper was too thin... now I have ass hand!
by Anonymous March 29, 2003
 
3.
When your hands both look and feel like ass. A bizarre peeling condition when the skin on your hands peels off and grow back and the process repeats itself.
I am embarassed by my ass hands, they make it difficult to touch other people.
by Buffdaddy26 March 21, 2009
 
4.
1. A arm that acutally grows from ones ass. Derrived from a Galidor figure.
2.The ultimate weapon whilest stoned.
"Don't make me whip out the ass-hand!"
by jovato May 12, 2003
 
5.
Hands that are attached to your ass that help you 'back there'. They don't wipe but they do love their peel and eat shrimp!
My ass hands are at the buffet eating peel and eat shrimp.

Damn this shopping is heavy, wish I had a pair of ass hands.
by Doktor Odd August 10, 2007
 
6.
A symtom resulting from handing out ass all day.
Dude, I've gotta rest seeing as how I have a horrible case of ass hands.
by Jaggo March 21, 2004
 
7.
Putting ones hand in their ass when its hot and sweaty and walking behind someone and putting the ass hand in the others face. Sometimes breaking thru the lips and fingers slipping into the mouth. Also the ass juice sticks to the face so they will smell it for awhile.
OMG JOSH JUST GAVE ME A ASS HAND.

OMG IT STILL STINKS
by tedcarl December 11, 2010