The devil wanted a place on earth, sort of a summer home, a place to spend his vacation, whenever he wanted to roam.
So he picked out Arizona, a place both wretched and rough, where the climate was to his liking, and the cowboys hardened and tough.
He dried up the lakes in the valley, then burned and scorched it all, He dried up the streams in the canyons, and ordered no rain to fall.
Then over this barren desert, he transplanted shrubs from Hell, the cactus thistle and prickly pear, the climate suited them well.
Now the home was much to his liking, but animal life he had none, so he created crawling creatures, that all mankind would shun.
First he made the rattlesnake, with its forked poisonous tongue, taught it to strike and rattle, and how to shallow its young.
Then he made scorpions and lizards, and the ugly old horned toad, he placed spiders of every description, under the rocks by the side of the road.
Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter, hotter and hotter still, until even the cactus wilted, and the old horned toads looked ill.
Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom, as any creator would, he chuckled a little, rolled up his sleeves, and admitted it was good.
T'was summer now and Satan, lay by a prickly pear to rest, the sweat rolled off his sweaty brow, so he took off his coat and vest.
"By golly", he finally panted, "I did my job to well, I'm going back ...
You buy salsa by the gallon.
All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
You think someone driving while wearing oven mitts is clever.
Most of the restaurants in your town have the first name "El" or "Los."
You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.
You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
You can say Hohokam(?Hohokam (HO-ho-ko'm) and people don't think you're laughing funny.
You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
You can say 120 degrees without fainting.
Every other vehicle is a 4x4.
You can be in the snow, and then drive for an hour and it will be more than 100 degrees.
Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves.
People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70.
You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
The pool can be warmer than you are.
You can make sun tea instantly.
People will drive over 100 miles just to see snow.
You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
Most people will not drink tap water unless they are under dire conditions.
People with black cars or...
"Sorry, I tried opening the car door. Gotta love Arizona."
What do you think of president Obama and Congress?
2nd man - "I like Arizona" "Nuff said"
First man nods.