An attempt to justify your stupid actions
Derived from the Applejacks commercial a few years ago:
"Why do you kids like applejacks when they dont taste like apples???"
"We just do!"
Joe: I dunno, applejacks.
"Its Apple Jacks"
"Why are you still here?"
"'Cause I am"
"Don't Apple Jacks me!"
Unpasteurized cider may still be bought from farmers and hippies, but champagne yeast is already available, and there are countless recipes available on the Internet that will have your average high school alcoholic brewing his own alcohol in minutes.