A rated Army aviator, operating the AH-64 Apache Attack Helicopter. Typically less than 64 inches in height, fond of wearing Randolph aviator glasses and driving either a full size pickup truck with semi-stacks and Metal Mullisha stickers, a pony/muscle car, or an annoying motorcycle with loud exhaust. Spontaneous utterances of the word "attack" are often encountered when in the company of an Apache driver. Apache pilots enjoy pointing out how "gay" the pilots of other airframes are, until confronted with the fact that the armored glass between the pilot and co-pilot/gunner was installed to prevent man on man aerial lovemaking. For additional information see the film: "Firebirds", featuring Nicholas Cage wearing panties on his head.
Q. Who are all those short guys playing volleyball and trying to look like the scene out of Top Gun?
A. Those are Apache pilots.
An apache pilot is a Military Officer often characterized as one who, has no regard for safety, is often considered to be arrogant, and is thought to have the ability to drink copious amounts of alcohol. Army Apache Pilots are normally smarter than the average human being and are the most aesthetically pleasing people on the planet. To be in the presence of an Army Apache pilot is an accomplishment. The AH - 64 Apache helicopter is a 20 million dollar war machine that should be respected as such. Women are normally drawn to Apache pilots because of their attitude in the military and their above average looks.
Jon: I didn't know Dave was an Apache pilot
Randy: Yeah, why else would he be referring to himself as God's gift to women after finishing a half gallon of rum last night?