| 8. | Anakin | ||
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The dimwitted husband of the equally dimwitted Padme Amidala. Was possibly even more whinier than his wife and that was probably the reason why Obi-Wan let him burn slowly and agonizingly at Mustafar. Inside, I bet, Obi-Wan was dancing with viscious glee knowing he had finally got one back at:
1. Qui-Gon Jinn for making him promise to train the stupid brat. 2. Anakin himself for putting up with the brat's shit for over a decade. Obi-Wan could of easily nuked Anakin out of existence but instead he choose the sadistic path of immolation as his ultimate and final revenge on this sad son-of-a-slave-bitch. Anyway, back to the Galaxy's biggest whinge-bag. Throughout the new trilogy Anakin alternately whines about his life, his mom, his life, his mom, etc. etc. how it is so unkewl he isn't made an uber-l33t Jedi master by the Council blah blah. Padme being the dimwit she is thinks this is Anakin being deep and soulful, and falls in love with him and worst still... has sexxors with him and produces spawn. Yeah, well it is PADME. Anyhow, when Anakin isn't bitching his ass off, he spends his time thinking about how schmexy Padme is and how he desperately would love to hook up with her and make babies. Unfortunately, (perhaps fortunately for him), his pipe dream comes true and we are all forced to witness the worst love scenes ever as a result of this. At this point, even the viewers are frothing with insane rage at this man or really, over-grown teenage boy. Obi-Wan feeling the audience's pain concocts up some bullshit story about Anakin, feeds it to Padme and watches as their relationship goes downhill so he can finally jump in, slowly and painfully kill the bastard and thus release not only himself but the audience from this horror of a character. However, despte his lack of intelligence, whinginess and disgusting amounts of Padme fawning, Anakin does happen to possess two tools that work to his advantage. He, like his wife, happens to be in possession of extreme good looks and thus most female Star Wars fan being so dazzled by his good looks forget he is a total dickwad and like Padme disgustingly drool all over him. His second tool is that he turns into Darth Vader. Darth Vader is badass. Darth Vader is awesome. Darth Vader said 'NOOOOOOOO!' and suddenly he isn't so scary anymore. Damn you George Lucas! Or we can all convienently forget about that piece of horrible VA and directing, and focus on the rest of Vader's badassery. Even if we aren't half as scared anymore. "Anakin is like Padme, all pretty, no filler!"
"Some people say Luke is not Anakin's son. That's wrong, they both share the common trait of whinginess and disgustingly fawning over a girl, this is particularly disgusting when it comes to Luke though." |
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| 1. | Anakin | ||
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v. To retroactively ruin someone's entire childhood. Man, Lucas totally Anakined me with all that midichlorian nonsense.
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| 2. | Anakin | ||
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Luke Skywalker's deadbeat dad.
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| 3. | Anakin | ||
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The Romeo in Lucas' Starwars. Drawn to save his incredible love, Padame, Anakin went to any and all lengths to save her. Doomed by fate, Anakin Skywalker symbolically died (like Romeo) and emerges as the resurrected Darth Vader. Padme, his Juliet, dies from a broken heart. Damn fool, I got anakined.
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| 4. | Anakin | ||
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The young boy who is twisted by the dark side in Star Wars Episode III.
Also a 'villian' who actually ends up being the victim, when we learn the truth. Star Wars Fan 1: It's so sad he's such an Anakin!
Star Wars Fan 2: Yeah I always thought he was a baddie but he's actually a goodie! |
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| 5. | anakin | ||
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Anakin Skywalker. Born in Tatooine to slave mother Shmi Skywalker. It is common belief that Anakin had no father and was born through way of the force (in a kind of jesus like way) instead of illegitimacy. At an early age he showed much promise in the force. Jedi master Qui gon jinn discovered him and took him to the Jedi council where he was tested by the masters. Although he showed great potential, he also had grown strong attatchments to his mother, something that the jedi council claimed could lead to the darkside. Regarded too old to join, the council told master Qui gon jinn that they would not train the boy. Adamant that he was the one that had been prophesised to bring back balance to the force by the jedi elders, Qui Gon said he would train the boy anyway. This defiance from Qui Gon may have been something Anakin had picked up on early. After the death of master Qui Gon, Jedi Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi keeps his promise that he will train Anakin. After Obi-Wan Kenobi is made a Jedi Knight he takes Anakin under his wing. During this time Anakin became close with then Queen Padme Amidala. After ten years the two are finally re-united and Anakin confesses he has became besotted and has dreamt about the senator every night for ten years. Anakin is then assigned to protect her after a failed assassination attempt on her. During this time the two grow close and become star-crossed lovers, much like Romeo and Juliet. In defiance to the jedi way, Anakin marries Padme Amidala ... more...
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| 6. | anakin | ||
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to go bad, or turn evil, or change for the worse. Whew, I don't think you should drink that Milk, I think it's anakined.
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| 7. | anakin | ||
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romantic hero in star wars doomed by his true love for padme. anakin is such a tragic hero
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