classed as sport for some reason that isn't understood by anyone not american.

nobody knows the rules

it lasts for 4 hours or more but they only play for 10 minutes all together

players wear enough padding to survive a fall from a plane...

...except for on their legs. in which case very tight spandex seems to be all that is needed

most of the game is spent squatting and yelling until somebody gets frustrated and hurls the ball away

guy #1: i wanna play a sport but i'm to fat and lazy

guy #2: you know what, i could sign you up for american football if you want
by British and Proud December 28, 2008
American football is called Football because the ball measures a foot. Incase you inbreds only thought it refers to the use of feet and balls.
Guy 1: American football should be called handegg instead of football, they don't even use their feet!

Guy 2:... It's called football because the ball measures a foot genius.....

Guy 1: point taken
by SoIWasAtTheOffice July 30, 2011
One of the stupidest sports to play for a school.Everyone thinks by playing football their tough, but their aren't, just stupid.Football takes all the money out of the schools athletic funding, and for what? to see a bunch of sweaty men grab each others nuts, grab a stupid ball, which isnt even shaped like a ball. It takes no brains to play football, actually, it destroys brain cells by the constant head trauma. Oh and no one comes to the games to see the game, they come to the games just like in nascar, to see if some one gets wrecked, or gets killed. Oh and you say all other sports are for pussie, well fuck you ass monkeys, yeah look up the term ass monkeys
American Football scenerio

Bill: Why do we have no tennis balls for the tennis team, soccerballs for the soccer team, or any baseballs for the baseball team.

Rob:Oh well you see, we needed heated cup holders for our charter bus, that way we are ready to go play a game that could possible kill us, and that wont even get us a scholarship
by screwfootball March 28, 2011
rugby with pads and helmets or puff rugby as i like to call it
person1: i play american football
person2: u mean puff rugby
person1: u wot!!!
person2: its basicly rugby with pads and a helmet!!!!!!!
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 19, 2009
Pretty much the dumbest idea ever. For one thing, it's not even football! Football is what you idiotic american football players call "soccer"." Soccer" is REAL football! In your retarded football, you don't even use your feet! Unlike in REAL football! For another thing, take an awesome game that isn't for pussies, rugby: no pads, no stopping in between every play, no 5 hour games, and no stupid goal as big as the field itself! Take that awesome sport over seas to america, have some stupid lard-a's that do nothing but sit on their asses all day and watch TV, screw around with it, take REAL football's name cause they can't think of anything else cause they're failures at life, and you get american football: a "sport" for fatties that can't run for more then 15 seconds max.
american football player:You're a pussy.

ME:I play soccer and alley rugby, and your calling me the pussy! You're the pussy for playing american football. At least I can run for 90 min.'s straight without stopping every 2-15 seconds. And, all I wear pad-wise are tiny little shin guards, not a full body suit of new-age armor.

american football player:Football's a man's sport!

ME:My point exactly! You're all homosexuals! Just look at the way you touch each other!

american football player:We're not touching each other, we're hitting each other!

ME:Can you even feel that through those hundred-pound pads you're wearing. Plus, what is the point of the butt-protecters, just to make it harder for you're gay colleagues to get to it? I sure hope you guys are wearing condoms in those so called "dog piles". It would be horrible if a whole team died of AIDS, on second thought, do what ever you want.

american football player:well...ummm...well .......

ME:Oh, I'm sorry is your mouth guard in?

american football player:you....uhhhhh....y ou.......

ME:Yeah, that's what I thought.

ME:PEACE! Baby Gap.
by kellysucksbutirideitanyways February 12, 2008
A sport played chiefly in the United States that requires more strength, speed, toughness, memorization, and training than any other sport... but is still boring as shit to watch. As big of a challenge to play as it is to sit through as a spectator.
Football Retard: American Football is the greatest sport ever because it's harder hitting than rugby! Europeans aren't as strong as Americans, so they play soccer!

Non-Boring Person: True, but soccer and rugby are also physically demanding and 10x better spectator sports that don't have constant anti-climactic stoppages in play, so nobody cares.
by Chernorizets Hrabr October 09, 2007
wack-ass sport only played in the US

the european football is way better and it definatley owns american football
American Football Player: Yo football is the best son!!!
Soccer/European Football Player: Shut up soccer owns your sport!
by blitz94/spartan117 June 14, 2007

Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

×