57
A sport that can be played professionally by any retard who can afford McDonald's or Steroids on a daily basis and/or can run real fast. A gym subscription will also come in handy for this sport. Played on a field which is 100 yards in length, the retards tackle each other fighting over a pigskinaka the football. When one of the leaner players on the field makes it to the other team's side points are scored. This is called a touchdown. Points can also be scored by a field goal where the pigskin is kicked between two poles.
Forest kept on running and running, even after scoring the touchdown.
by RicDaSpic April 12, 2005
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58
Something boring people are obsessed with because they have nothing better to do with their lives. Fanatics boost the salaries and contracts of a bunch of nimrods who can do little more than toss or kick a ball and get paid more than scientists, teachers, their moms and dads and other people who actually improve their lives and make the world a better place to live.
Why are americans so overweight by an large? Because they'd rather sit in front of tv's watching things like american football and american idol and drink beer. Beer gives guys such unsexy beer bellies that girls wont give them any sex, so guys have to sit around watching american football as if that were better than bustin' a nut.
by Jock January 23, 2005
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59
i stupid excuse for football. a games where overweight americans wear pads to make themselves look even fatter and bash each other up for a friggon ball.
i'd explain more but its a waste of my time and energy. aussie rules football is way better.
i dont wanna hear about american football.
by gina hamiltom October 26, 2006
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60
The Greatest Game on Earth. The only sport to incorporate strategy, strength, speed, and stanima all in one game.
Soccer requires you to have speed and stanima, but you don't have to be strong or smart to play it

Basketball requires you to have speed, stanima, and strategy, but you don't have to be very strong to play it

Baseball requires you to have strength and speed but there isn't much strategy or stanima required

American Football requires you to have all of these traits so it is the greatest sport on earth IMO
by Geeter August 27, 2006
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61
Hey dude, do you want to play gayball?
You mean american football?
Yes, gayball
by Cadel Evans July 23, 2006
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62
Pretty much the dumbest idea ever. For one thing, it's not even football! Football is what you idiotic american football players call "soccer"." Soccer" is REAL football! In your retarded football, you don't even use your feet! Unlike in REAL football! For another thing, take an awesome game that isn't for pussies, rugby: no pads, no stopping in between every play, no 5 hour games, and no stupid goal as big as the field itself! Take that awesome sport over seas to america, have some stupid lard-a's that do nothing but sit on their asses all day and watch TV, screw around with it, take REAL football's name cause they can't think of anything else cause they're failures at life, and you get american football: a "sport" for fatties that can't run for more then 15 seconds max.
american football player:You're a pussy.

ME:I play soccer and alley rugby, and your calling me the pussy! You're the pussy for playing american football. At least I can run for 90 min.'s straight without stopping every 2-15 seconds. And, all I wear pad-wise are tiny little shin guards, not a full body suit of new-age armor.

american football player:Football's a man's sport!

ME:My point exactly! You're all homosexuals! Just look at the way you touch each other!

american football player:We're not touching each other, we're hitting each other!

ME:Can you even feel that through those hundred-pound pads you're wearing. Plus, what is the point of the butt-protecters, just to make it harder for you're gay colleagues to get to it? I sure hope you guys are wearing condoms in those so called "dog piles". It would be horrible if a whole team died of AIDS, on second thought, do what ever you want.

american football player:well...ummm...well .......

ME:Oh, I'm sorry is your mouth guard in?

american football player:you....uhhhhh....y ou.......

ME:Yeah, that's what I thought.

ME:PEACE! Baby Gap.
by kellysucksbutirideitanyways February 12, 2008
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63
A reason for big guys to hug each other while wearing protection.
Is this an american football game, or a softcore porno?
by wordup1250 July 09, 2010
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