An extremely gay sport that gives high school fags a reason to feel "cool" while also comforting them from the fact that they have extremely small dicks. The objective... to be as gay as possible while throwing a leather ball and wearing pads like a pussy. The truth... American football is a slow-paced, piece of shit sport that involves a minimum of 11 vaginas on the field at once.
Football Fag: "Hey, do you think I have a chance at fucking that hot chick from our Calc class?"

Soccer player: "Yeah sure, if your dick was existent and you weren't such a faggot."

Football Fag: "Hey thanks man. I'm a tool because I play American Football."

Soccer player: "Fuck off."
by Futbalzdumb May 17, 2011
It's a lot like Rugby, they just use way too much gear as if they were going to war, which in this case they get their body broken sometimes.

And also, this "American Football" only Americans really like it, because the rest of the world doesn't.

This has nothing to do with football in reality, it's really rugby under the name football.

Football you kick the ball with your feet, hence the name. "Soccer" is a dumb ignorant word that Americans use it to describe the Real Football.
Player 1: Do you want to play American Football?
Player 2: Nah, that's lame.
by Anon12576343 November 19, 2010
Grown men who think they are cool because they weigh 300 pounds, dressed in tights, jumping on top of each other, trying to get football through two posts.
Person 1: Man, lets watch some American Football!
person 2: No, those are just idiots dressed in tights. Lets watch some soccer instead.
by circular orbiting sphere February 07, 2010
A reason for big guys to hug each other while wearing protection.
Is this an american football game, or a softcore porno?
by wordup1250 July 09, 2010
Pretty much the dumbest idea ever. For one thing, it's not even football! Football is what you idiotic american football players call "soccer"."Soccer" is REAL football! In your retarded football, you don't even use your feet! Unlike in REAL football! For another thing, take an awesome game that isn't for pussies, rugby: no pads, no stopping in between every play, no 5 hour games, and no stupid goal as big as the field itself! Take that awesome sport over seas to america, have some stupid lard-a's that do nothing but sit on their asses all day and watch TV, screw around with it, take REAL football's name cause they can't think of anything else cause they're failures at life, and you get american football: a "sport" for fatties that can't run for more then 15 seconds max.
american football player:You're a pussy.

ME:I play soccer and alley rugby, and your calling me the pussy! You're the pussy for playing american football. At least I can run for 90 min.'s straight without stopping every 2-15 seconds. And, all I wear pad-wise are tiny little shin guards, not a full body suit of new-age armor.

american football player:Football's a man's sport!

ME:My point exactly! You're all homosexuals! Just look at the way you touch each other!

american football player:We're not touching each other, we're hitting each other!

ME:Can you even feel that through those hundred-pound pads you're wearing. Plus, what is the point of the butt-protecters, just to make it harder for you're gay colleagues to get to it? I sure hope you guys are wearing condoms in those so called "dog piles". It would be horrible if a whole team died of AIDS, on second thought, do what ever you want.

american football player:well...ummm...well.......

ME:Oh, I'm sorry is your mouth guard in?

american football player:you....uhhhhh....you.......

ME:Yeah, that's what I thought.

ME:PEACE! Baby Gap.
by kellysucksbutirideitanyways February 11, 2008
Tupperware plated rugby
Nathan: Did you watch the American football last night?

Lawrence: Is that the sport where men of questionable sexuality covered in plastic jump on top of each other.

Nathan: Yeah, apparently they throw a 'ball' around as some sort of cover for the whole thing.
by Jim Birtwisle February 05, 2008
A shit game that wastes 4 hours worth of time, and brain cells galore. Played by fat rednecks who have the brain capacity of an amoeba. Nobody outside a limited number of people from the US actually care about it, and the occasional Canadian. Not worth five cents, but vastly overvalued.
Hey, it's Football!

No, you moron! That's American Football. Real football is what people outside the US play.
by Yak Dribble December 29, 2007

Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

×