An excellent indie rock/emo band from the 1990s, fronted by Mike Kinsella (of Owen).
Stephen: "My favorite emo band? Definitely I Hate Myself."

Bob Nastanovich: "No way, dude. American Football takes the cake."
by entrancetheory April 22, 2013
American Football is the act of trying to touch other men while running around in tights. For some reason it is called football (it is not played with the foot), but thats just because we're stupid americans. Football requires no stamina because individual plays last up to a grueling 15 seconds. Football players are people who just want to try to be bi-curious by taking showers with each other, and slapping each others asses. Most americans are obsessed with this sport, and on game days, resort to drunken blabbering and screaming random things. All around, the only good part of football is the super bowl half time show.
Alex: American Football!!

Joey: Get Some!!!
by CoolRunningsManBobSled November 14, 2010
a game where guys push and shove against each other like children until someone drops the ball. see also: a chance for guys to dress up in tights and look hot, rather than gay.
hey, did you watch that american football game last night?
by Postponed November 12, 2010
A pussied-out, dumbed down version of the sport rugby. Where you can be the biggest fatass in the world and still play. The players on the field are basically 250 lb pawns of the coach. Do the players do any real thinking besides remembering/memorizing which plays are which? Nope. Many asshugging football players like to bash soccer as a sport which requires no skill. Sadly this is not true, but it does require not being a fatass so its a good thing they don't play anyway.

Fact: fags play football
Sorry, I forgot how much skill and manliness there is in tackling each other for 5 hours. But of course not straight. Play only goes on for about 10 seconds at a time, at most, before a break so the fatasses can catch their breath.

American Football: for faggots, fatasses, and ugly fucks who generally lack even the remotest bits of athleticism.
by masrecio May 29, 2009
I like American Football. It combines my two other favourite sports - cricket and rugby.

One thing does make me laugh though - the vicious "helmet to helmet" hit.

The only other place I've seen "helmet to helmet" action is in porn films, usually when one woman sucks two guy's cocks at the same time, causing them to go "helmet to helmet" in her mouth.
On field banter from a typical american football game:
"Hey TO, I'm linin' you up Helmet to Helmet"
"Be careful, I've only got a small mouth.."
by Turkurbentu April 07, 2009
classed as sport for some reason that isn't understood by anyone not american.

nobody knows the rules

it lasts for 4 hours or more but they only play for 10 minutes all together

players wear enough padding to survive a fall from a plane...

...except for on their legs. in which case very tight spandex seems to be all that is needed

most of the game is spent squatting and yelling until somebody gets frustrated and hurls the ball away

guy #1: i wanna play a sport but i'm to fat and lazy

guy #2: you know what, i could sign you up for american football if you want
by British and Proud December 28, 2008
Shite American "sport" for fat people to play and watch.

Physical fitness is not required as play stops every minute for a 5 minute break when the coaches play a basterdised version of physical chess. Not to mention the fact that the entire team gets changed round several times a game. Why? Because one player is to stupid to be able to know how to both attack AND defend!

Players wear pads and helmets because they are too feckin dumb to learn how to tackle properly (like in Rugby). Padding is like giveing a swimmer a boat.

I couldn't give a shit who or how big Ray Lewis is. If he took all that gay padding off and came across Jona Lomu or any of the New Zealand rugby squad he would know what a tackle is. The bigger they are the harder they fall. And if everyone keeps quoting his name because he's huge at 250lbs that's about the MINIMUM weight for an international rugby forward.

How many "football" players actually look like they've been in a game? They're all pretty boys who don't know what a good studing or stamping on feels like. They should be put at the bottom of rook to see what it feels like without padding.

To summarise - shit, slow, lazy game (sport is too generous a word) played by fat, unfit people and supported by self obssessed, ignorant, xenophobic yanks who believe that because it is their sport it is the best in the world and their players are the biggest and strongest.
"Do you wanna go play some sports"
"Nah i'll sit here and drink beer and eat nachos because i'm a fat lazy yank"
by Mike March 26, 2005
American football is called Football because the ball measures a foot. Incase you inbreds only thought it refers to the use of feet and balls.
Guy 1: American football should be called handegg instead of football, they don't even use their feet!

Guy 2:... It's called football because the ball measures a foot genius.....

Guy 1: point taken
by SoIWasAtTheOffice July 30, 2011

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