29
a crappy and frankly, mind numbingly boring sport that only fat-shit Americans play because they lack the athleticism and skill of Rugby or Football(soccer).

fans are typical dull witted Neanderthals with beer bellies that dont understand what a proper sport it. fans typically love to brag about "how big and mean Ray Lewis" is but noone buys it. i would love to see Ray Lewis get run the fuck over by Pierre spies of South Africa.

Americans love to give their teams some special patriotic meaning but and to hype up their status such as "world champions" and all but not a single person gives a shit about American Football outside of the US.
typical American Football Supporter: wow look at this guy! he has been able to run for a whole 10 seconds! AMAZING!

decent human being: the fuck man?
by Springbok lover December 18, 2009
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30
Probably the most boring sport in the world. People standing around for minutes on end in silly science fiction costumes and occasionally running for a few seconds. Far too many rules and not enough flow. About as exciting as watching people play chess. Watch real football (the most popular sport in the world, for good reason) if you crave real excitement.
Patient: Doctor, I'm having difficulty sleeping.
Doctor: Just watch some American Football and you'll be asleep in a few minutes.
by midnite serpent September 24, 2007
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31
A very intense game played primarily by people in the United States. Played much like rugby except there is stopping the play after a tackle and forward passes are legal which adds an interesting aspect to the game. Many consider it to be a pussy sport because of all the pads. I've played the sport and believe me, the pads suck and get in the way. But if they didn't exist then we would probably have football related deaths in the hundreds and no one would play. Europeans are quick to point out that rugby players don't wear pads. This is because rugby is a more fluid game and the hits aren't nearly as hard. In American football, once the ball is snapped, everyone explodes from their position and goes full speed full strength for about 15 seconds or so. When the bodies clash there is a huge force of impact because everyone is going so hard. Then they wait another 20 seconds or so, catch their breath, and go out and do that again. The stress on the body would be too much without the pads. Also, in football everyone is hitting someone on every play. Where as in rugby everyone is spread out more. And it's more about staying in position and running. Both are entertaining to watch, but I like football better just because there is much more hard hitting and crazy action with the forward pass.
There is a fine line between toughness/manliness and utter stupidity. If american football players wore pads, then everyone would sustain life long injuries or die on the field. Rugby players wear no pads and think they're hot shit for it. I hope it's worth getting teeth knocked out and using a motor chair for your whole retirement.

Theodore Roosevelt (president of U.S. 1901-1909) wanted to BAN american football because it was considered too dangerous and too many deaths resulted from it.

If you watch this game, you will find there is a lot of adrenaline and excitement packed into every play.
by Charny3 June 22, 2010
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32
A internationally irrelevant sport that is very boring to 99% of the planets population. THe only reason Americans care so much about it is because they invented it and its part of their culture. Kind of like how Japanese people carea about sumo wrestling and no one else does. Another similarity between American football and sumo wrestling is the overweight "athletes". In this sport, a 350lb tub of lard can be considered a "star".
American: The whole world watches the Superbowl!!

Englishman: What a "superbowl"? Some kind of fruit salad?

Brazilian: Huh? Sorry never heard of it..

Italian: Don't know what that is.

INSERT NATIONALITY HERE: WTF is american football? Looks like a pussified version of rugby with padding.
by Bobson Keneth November 02, 2007
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33
Gay American sport. Bunch of dumbass steroid using fags trying to hump each other while trying to run to the other side of the field. Stops every 10 seconds and lots of subs because the players are too fat to run much.
Look at that steroid jacked dumbass with the pig-skin under that pile of men. He might graduate high school with an D average if he's lucky. It must be an American football.
by Triple Z July 10, 2008
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34
A shit game that wastes 4 hours worth of time, and brain cells galore. Played by fat rednecks who have the brain capacity of an amoeba. Nobody outside a limited number of people from the US actually care about it, and the occasional Canadian. Not worth five cents, but vastly overvalued.
Hey, it's Football!

No, you moron! That's American Football. Real football is what people outside the US play.
by Yak Dribble December 29, 2007
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35
Pretty much the dumbest idea ever. For one thing, it's not even football! Football is what you idiotic american football players call "soccer"."Soccer" is REAL football! In your retarded football, you don't even use your feet! Unlike in REAL football! For another thing, take an awesome game that isn't for pussies, rugby: no pads, no stopping in between every play, no 5 hour games, and no stupid goal as big as the field itself! Take that awesome sport over seas to america, have some stupid lard-a's that do nothing but sit on their asses all day and watch TV, screw around with it, take REAL football's name cause they can't think of anything else cause they're failures at life, and you get american football: a "sport" for fatties that can't run for more then 15 seconds max.
american football player:You're a pussy.

ME:I play soccer and alley rugby, and your calling me the pussy! You're the pussy for playing american football. At least I can run for 90 min.'s straight without stopping every 2-15 seconds. And, all I wear pad-wise are tiny little shin guards, not a full body suit of new-age armor.

american football player:Football's a man's sport!

ME:My point exactly! You're all homosexuals! Just look at the way you touch each other!

american football player:We're not touching each other, we're hitting each other!

ME:Can you even feel that through those hundred-pound pads you're wearing. Plus, what is the point of the butt-protecters, just to make it harder for you're gay colleagues to get to it? I sure hope you guys are wearing condoms in those so called "dog piles". It would be horrible if a whole team died of AIDS, on second thought, do what ever you want.

american football player:well...ummm...well.......

ME:Oh, I'm sorry is your mouth guard in?

american football player:you....uhhhhh....you.......

ME:Yeah, that's what I thought.

ME:PEACE! Baby Gap.
by kellysucksbutirideitanyways February 11, 2008
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