22
A stupid game for twats who are too pussy to play rugby. The players wear major protective gear so they don't mess up their 'perfect' hair and bend over pretending to throw the ball through their legs while another player stands behind them and gives them anal. There's nothing wrong with gays but there's a time and a place to be bumming a guy.
Guy 1: "Hey, do you want to play American Football?"
Guy 2: "Oh, sorry mate, I'm not gay"
by its stupid June 11, 2010
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23
American Football is the name given to a mass homoerotic orgy masquerading as a sport. It is only exceeded in man-loving gayness by the similar psuedo-sport of Wrestling. The main objectives of American Football are to:
1) Provide an extended opportunity for exceptionally fit and muscular men to run toward each other and proceed to grope and hug one another.
2) Provide many opportunities for selected football players to watch their spandex-wearing cohorts bend over and symbolically pass a turd-shaped object through their legs.
3) Provide an excuse for the entire football team to get naked together and shower in private.
Most players of American Football like their sex-play rough, as is evidenced by the nature of their activities while dressed up in fetish-wear for the occasion. Padding is used, particularly around the shoulders to give the men an exaggerated look of masculinity that adds to the raw erotic power they display to both their teammates and the opposing team.
Surprisingly, most participants and fans of American Football do not embrace their obvious homosexuality as readily as they embrace other participants/fans. Most will even deny any hint of homoeroticism inherent in the activity, despite its gaiety being greater than that of most civic Gay Pride parades. This paradoxical aspect is thought to enhance one's enjoyment of the activity, and could perhaps be seen as a type of role-play where gay men pretend to be heterosexual while engaging in or watching one of the most gay activities ever devised.
Man 1: "Did you see that American Football tackle!?"
Man 2: "Come here, you!!"

Other Man 1: "I'm going to the American Football game, dressed in a satin jersey because I like the way it rubs against my nipples when I cheer."
Other Man 2: "I'm going to the American Football game wearing seductive and sexy bodypaint over my exposed torso."
Other Man 3: "Come here, you guys!!"
by Mike and not Spike October 24, 2006
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24
American football is the best sport in the world. I giv kudos to rugby players, becasue yes rugby is a tough sport that i actually blew my shoulder out playing. Football is better, not only than rugby, but than any other sport in exsistence. You need the endurance of a runner, the strength of a rugby player. Football uses pads, because it makes the game harder because ur carrying around an extra 10 pounds. Also, football takes different angles and different play types than any other sport making it an extremely dangerous game, even with pads. Plus, it takes more mental ability than playing chess. The players have to memorize 100's of small details. If a person messes up just once it could be a damaging blow to his or her team. Football is the worlds toughest sport, and the hardest. For those reasons, it is the best.
Fool: Cross country is the best sport!
Idiot: Baseball is the best sport!
Loser: Football is for idiots and fat people, and takes no strength.

Scholar: Football takes more strength, endurance, agility, skill, mental capacity, and balls to play than any other sport played by men.
by JohCo July 07, 2005
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25
An idiotic, homoerotic sport which looks like a bunch of apes trying to have sex with each other. It was named 'football' by a misinformed redneck who wasn't privy to the fact that the most popular sport in the world already carries that name. It is a result of international espionage because it appears vertually identical to rugby, so there's nothing original there. To enjoy American Football you need an IQ of a beach towel and a steady diet of beer and fried chicken.
Dad, is that a gay gang bang?
No son, this is American Football
by russianbear54 September 12, 2006
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26
A great sport, extremely physically demanding. Many of you foreigners keep talking about how it must not hurt because there are pads, you clearly have not played the sport. I'd like to see you guys playing linebacker with a hugeass fullback coming straight at you. Without helmets, american football would be just stupid to play, especially at the line. In America, we have a name for all of you types of people saying things like "Americans are pansys," maybe you've heard of it. "Racist."
Rugby and American Football, while similar are two different sports, stop acting like they are exactly the same.
by theparkmanghost September 18, 2005
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27
The pussy sort where fat and ugly men get a chance to play with balls and touch each other! Also it isn't unknown for football players to get on top of each other!
Fat Guy: Dude, do you play american football?

Cool Guy: No, I'm not gay and i can run for more than 5 seconds.
by soccerguy May 10, 2008
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28
The reason why American Football is called American Football is because it is mainly played in AMERICA. "Oh yeha, I'ma brit and american football is so ghey" Well guess what, YOUR COUNTRY DOSN'T EVEN PLAY IT, SO HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU JUDGE IT!? How many Americans do you see going to the cricket page and talking about how much they hate it? Hardly any, because we really don't watch or play cricket in america. How many americans go on the Rugby page and talk about how much they hate that? Again, hardly any although all those Ignorant europeans just seem to love to talk about how Football isn't as "hard" as Rugby. You know what? I've never seen a Rugby game, played it, or hardly know much about it, so I'm not going to spout of about how much I hate it like all the other ignorant europeans. You guys seriesly need to just 1.) Fuck off and start obsessing over you soccer, rugby, cricket shit rather than going on to Urban Dictionary so you can talk about how much you hate a sport your country does not even play or 2.) Actually watch/play/learn the damn game before you fucking judge!
Ignorant Person: American Football is full of fat people

American: Not True. Football players have been know to be able to lift over 300 lb. repeatidly, all that is muscle

Ignorant Person: Football contains no strategy

American: Not True, Football is the most strategic game on earth which is the reason dumbass Jocks never make it to the NFL

Ignorant Person: Soccer is the best sport because it's the most popular

American: Not true, Soccer is the most popular sport because any third-world country can play it becuase it only requires a ball and a net

Ignorant Person: Football is for pussys, Rugby Rules

American: Not True, although I have not seen a rugby game before, I know for a fact that football is more hard hitting because 1) In early football years with no pads, football deaths were extremely common and 2) Rugby deaths are not common

Ignorant Person: Football is a gay name for a game that you catch balls with you hands

American: Not True, early football (Which was a LOT like rugby) Players only ran with their feet. In an attempt to make the game more exciting they incorperated passing the ball. While I do admit that calling it football is stupid nowadays, what else would you call it, throwball? Runball? Crossbarball? Hitball? All those names suck.

Ignorant Person: Football is basterdized rugby

American: Not True, The games are VERY different from what I heard. Like in football you can pass the ball, in Rugby (I don't belive) you can't forword pass

Ignorant Person: Soccer pwns Americna Football

American: Soccer is far to flawed a system for it to be legitimitly compared to any other sport. The fact that this game contains no overtime, flawed whole points system, goal differentials and the sheer tedium of the sport makes it hands down the worst sport I ever saw. But that's just me.

Ignorant Person: Players are to stupid to know how to attack AND Defend

American: If I were to put offensive players in defence football would be a worthless sport to watch. It would consist of NO defence since players of defence are 10x as strong than players on offence (Excluding O-Linemen) It'd basicly be a game of pitch and catch, it'd be stupid and boring

So there you go, anseres to all your ignorant questions you europeans...
by Cards in 06 August 27, 2006
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