A small town in north-eastern Michigan where there is only one style of clothing.
Oh look there is an aeropostale shirt.
-3seconds later- Oh look there is the same shirt but on a different person
1. A small town in Northeastern Michigan
known for Drinking and tomfoolery
2. A adjective used by Alpena transplants to describe a party scene that has become of ouf control or gong show
1. Make sure you bring the doedoe when we cruise up to Alpena, because god knows we won't be able to score any there.
2. Everyone was so wasted at Jimmy's house they managed to tear off the porch and use it for a bonfire, it was so Alpena
A small town in North-Eastern Michigan known for fat ugly women and young attractive men with mullets named Nick Lee.
A place to go if you want to visit the closest place to Hell.
Cop: Now what are we going to do with you?
Arrested Man: Fuck Yo Couch Nigga
Cop: Im taking you where no man has a chance to live or leave.
Arrested Man: Aw Hell Naw Not Alpena
AKA Alspenis michicunts come here on vacation leave here on probation
Where everything in this town is ass backwards
Where the cops are more dirty then theives stealing from people
Where you go to a party and probably see your friends parents or grand parents partying down
Home of alien wanker, the pink flamingo, few moon crickets, and dirty sluts