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Educational institution in Englewood, New Jersey that nobody knows. grades K-8. Resides in the infamous Englewood section known as Englehood. less-known than the other schools in that city, such as Dwight Englewood School and Elizabeth Morrow Day. There's no such thing as a well-organized educational structure to be found within this building that is shared with a local Presbyterian Church. This school follows the Montessori Method (however, once you graduate, you will have the education of the average janitor), there is a new teacher for each class every season, and field trips are taken to indoor amusement parks, roller rinks, arcades, movie theaters, and cheap fast food joints instead of museums, theaters, or historical sights. People that run the school are Scientologists that will do anything to get people to send their kids to this school (and it is barely a school).
You a FUCKLOAD of bizarre people. Convos between 4th graders are always not intellectual, but heated and hostile debates about religion, politics, or the existence of aliens and Satan. Each student is brought up to be a goody-two shoes and upon hearing a swear as mild as damn or hell, will an entire class go as berserk as Damien when he saw the church in The Omen. Graduating classes comprise of no more than four kids each year. And you will learn nothing in classes. I mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
Oh, yeah... the educational foundation is also so weak that teachers are referred to by first names.
Hildy: There are 0 books on the bookshelf. How many books are there?

Randall: Oh, IDK? 7? (in a mocking tone)

Hildy: Where did you get THAT from?

Randall: Of course it's zero! Is this a math class, or are we playing "Memory" here?

Sabrina: Franklin! You didn't do the homework? Go sit outside until I call you back in!

Jodi: Let's see if you kids can manage to stay quiet for an exact half-hour.

Five minutes later... someone sneezes.

Jodi: Damn it, kids! You can't discipline yourselves? Go live at a freaking zoo for all I care! You know what? I want you to write a six-paragraph assignment on what the word "silence" means. If you don't know what it means, get a goddamn dictionary!

Student: Jodi, this is fucking ridiculous! And why is every problem supposed to be solved with a dictionary? (At Ability School, you will be encouraged endlessly to use a dictionary to solve your problems)

Jodi: Shut up!
by Drno1124 November 28, 2010
A Scientology indoctrination program for children ages 3 - 13 posing as a school, located in Englewood, NJ. There are no grades, just 'forms' where students learn at their own pace and each form can last for years (until the student gets it right). Textbooks are based on the works of L. Ron Hubbard, and LRH's "Study Tech" method is the basis for all programs. Tuition is $12,000, not including food.

There are only 5-star reviews of the school to be found online, most written on the same day. Nothing suspicious about that.
"Ability is one of approximately 800 schools and educational centers licensed by Applied Scholastics™ to use the Study Method and educational materials developed by L. Ron Hubbard, Educator and Humanitarian." - from the Ability School website

Humanitarian? I thought he was a Thetan from the planet Xenu.
by 2dazzle579 January 08, 2014