the slowest of all internet service providers.
America Online. As Slow as a turtle.
by Anonymous March 27, 2003
Agony On Line

Akin to the pain you feel when having intestinal cramps while websurfing, but are too stupid to get up and go to the toilet to relieve yourself because you are afraid you'll miss an one of those super important AOL Instant Messages.
Eating this Thai food gave me the AOL's

see also the shits
by Anthony Watts June 02, 2004
Ass on lips. Stated whenever you say something you quickly regret.
Bob: I think I may be gay...
Joey: WHAT THE F*** MAN?
Bob: Oh crap aol, I didn't mean that.

Alan: Man, Sarah is looking fine today....
Vishul: The crazy one? What the heck is wrong with you man?
Alan: Did I just say that out loud? Aol man....
by The_real_bob1 April 11, 2011
The Internet Mafia. First they boss you around and threaten to kick you off and terminate your online account with their TOS "system". Ironically, once you try to leave the service, they keep asking you question after question and other lame forms of excuses and false hopes and promises in a weak effort to make you stay with them. I have also learned, as well as my family, that when you leave the AOL internet service they secretly sabotage your computer and make sure that it is infested with spyware, just as retaliation in losing yet another one out of 40 million customers.
AOL=The Internet Mafia
AOL Head Leader: Hey, I heard the Joneses are leaving are service! Can you believe that they would actually want freedom from our terrible online oppression?
AOL Mafia Henchman #1: Those bastards, how dare they get out of our slow-running internet service with incompetent tech support! LET'S WHACK 'EM!
AOL Mafia Henchman #2: I'll upload the viruses and prepare the spyware files!
by Midwestrn Soldier October 25, 2004
ashcroft online.

where ALL aol internet traffic gets routed through various transparent government and NSA servers before being released to the wider internet.
Have a nice day - free of privacy.
by AOHELL November 20, 2004
An online service that offers users a high price, lots of spam and popups, slow service, and plenty of morons to talk to. Almost all of the content on AOL which you pay a high price for can be found for free all over the web.

In the past AOL was notorious for its censorship. It is a haven for spammers and pedophiles looking to pick up 12 year olds.
AOL is the internet with training wheels.
by Anonymous October 02, 2003
American On-Line; a dumbass, piece of crap, excess-authority internet service that occupies all TV commercials and, seemingly, the entire internet itself. As many other people accurately say, AOL is extremely slow, is easily open to spyware and computer viruses, and may cause your computer to crash. AOL loves to wield its big, black "fist of fury" known as TOS, or Terms of Service, around in order to intimidate and threaten millions of the users; many of those users haven't done anything that could remotely be considered mildly offensive or illegal.
For all the bad service, unreliable connections, and poor reputations in dealing with online crime, junk email, spyware, and speed levels, AOL has the nerve to charge excessive monthly charges. They usually amount to well over $20 when the services provided mixed with the bullshit, pop-ups, and unnecessary authority are worth no more than three bucks. You AOL assholes. AOL: Assholes OnLine.
TOS is retarded. AOL only does this in the empty promise to keep child molesters and hackers off the Net. Also, those who threaten people in chat rooms when they will never meet the people that they are saying that they will beat the shit out of. But of course, AOL is too dumb to realize that most of these people jacking this bullshit in the chat rooms are most likely doing it just for fun, and even if they were in hatred against one another, the chances of those two actually coming in contact with one another are very rare. SO WHAT'S THE BIG DAMN DEAL, BITCH?
by Ryan Jones October 25, 2004

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