A-swag-tosis: When your swag level goes so high it starts breaking down the alleles in your DNA. Similar to "apoptosis," but involving swag.
Symptoms include excessive style, the ability to go "super smackington," and frequent references to attending private, live concerts for bands no one's even heard of.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your son has A-swag-tosis. He's too hip to live.
Worried Mother: OMG, what do I do?
Doctor: I suggest you force him to wear glasses and date a loser dork. Otherwise his swag levels might consume him.