Top Definition
When a stranger approaches you for no apparent reason and almost immediately tells you their life story. Public transport, bars and queues are the most popular places for the 5 Minute Mate to be found. Often they will start with a casual comment relevant to the situation and progress very quickly leading to you knowing everything that ever happened to them in their life in 5 minutes. They'll walk away leaving you tired and confused but safe in the knowledge you just made another 5 Minute Mate.
"Oh my this bank queue doesn't seem to be getting any shorter."
Me: "I know, terrible isn't it..."
"I remember once being in a queue for an hour just to pay in a cheque and then I was late for a doctors appointment to see whether the mole on my back was malignant or not. Turns out it wasn't but actually on the same day I found out I had a VD, I just mentioned a pain when I was urinating, you know a passing comment...of course I confronted my wife. She denied it. I was hoping she had changed her ways but she'd been shagging the Insurance guy. Last time it was the man who fitted the cable. It's funny you know, I used to sell insurance. Now I sell carpet cleaners...anyway no cancer but I ended up at the VD clinic and divorced. She got the dog, I was upset but I was always a little allergic to the hairs. I have a cat now. Called him Byron after my twin brother who died when I was 7....." and so it goes on for 3 more minutes.
The 5 Minute Mate.
#byron #mate #friend #buddy #bastard
by Erica Cantona October 02, 2013
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