A shit that comes in three stages and is super-annoying because of the fact that you have to take a shit three times.
Tends to happen after not shitting for a while, eating a big meal, when you are sick, or when you've eaten some crappy food.
Stage 1: Normal shit: Comes out looking normal, but all at once.
Stage 2: Half-solid shit: Comes out all at once and is only half-solid.
Stage 3: All liquid: The shit just pours out of your ass in a shit-smoothie. Ass-washing is required.
Damn, I hate taking a 3-stage shit.
|2.||Stage 3 Drunk|
The final stage of a long night of drinking. The point where the things you say no longer make sense and all you can do is make goofy faces and point at people.
So I heard Kevin was stage 3 drunk again last weekend.
1. A mind, physical, or combination of both, state that is the result of over indulging and lack of sleep during a night out. 2. A state that may occur when violently ill, possibly because of definition 1., or a legitimate illness. 3. A state that may occur after the “shit hammered” stage (see shit hammered).
A person who finds themselves in this state should under no circumstances operate heavy machinery, vehicles of any type, firearms, explosives, small children, the elderly, the disabled, business meetings, bathing, feeding one self (chance of ingesting a dodgy doner kebab), bowels movements (chance of soiling one self), dressing, french poodles, a professional kick boxing match, and generally any task that involves coherent thought and/or co-ordination.
After Jason spent all night drinking and spending time in the arms of a promiscuous woman, he realised that he had nothing to look forward to at work accept a day of feeling like hammered shit.
Hammered fuck is the ultimate, supreme state of party time explosiveness. This level of inebriation is the apocalyptic culmination of a night (or string of nights) of hardcore boozing. Hammered fuck is only reached after one has progressed through the following milestones
- hammered ass (beginner; 6-8 drinks, no pre-party),
- hammered shit (novice; 7-10 drinks, mild pre-party) and
- hammered fuck (advanced; 10+ drinks, heavy pre-party)
When one arrives at the hammered fuck stage, there is no turning back, consider it game over.
One fifth Berry/Melon Skyy Vodka, neat.
***Level Up: Hammered Ass Achieved***
(Party Hang 1) - 6 Vodka sodas; 2 SoCo lime shots, chilled
***Level Up: Hammered Shit Achieved***
(Party Hang 2) - 1 Vodka soda; 3 Jaeger shots, chilled; 1 Miller Lite, pre-hydration
***Level Up: Hammered Fuck Achieved***
- Stumble home
- Mandatory hydration (to avoid early morning chest pounding and cotton-mouth)
- Rinse and repeat
1) Another word to describe cocksucking incestrous gay men.
2) A group of sodomizers.
3) Penis suckers.
4) Another word to describe men who insert objects twice the size of pineapples into their anus for pleasure and don't remove them for two weeks in order to stretch their butthole to its largest.
5) The lack of douche.
6) Tight pants wearing cross-dressers.
7) An anal yeast infection. Highly contagious.
8) Racist bastards who believe in nothing but the killing and deletion of African American and Jewish people. They use their music to hide secret messages from the public.
9) Descendants of KKK grandmasters.
10) A group of Jew-cunt faggot bitches that likes chode down their throats.
1) Nick Jonas: I feel like choking on cock today.more...
Joe Jonas: Me too. Let's go find a cock to choke on.
Other Jonas bitch: Let's Jonas Brothers!
2) Hick: You're one of dem Jonas Brothers! We don't accept your kind around this here town!
Jonas Brothers: Let's sodomize you, hillbilly! You're gonna take it!
3) Jonas Brothers: (sucking cock) Yummmmmm.
Man: You guys are a bunch of Jonas Brothers.
4) Woman: Doesn't that hurt your anus from all that Jonas Brothering?
Nick Jonas: Nope, it feels quite good to Jonas Brother.
Joe Jonas: I need something seven times the size of a pineapple now! My anus is stretched so far if I fell on someone's head I'd literally swallow them into my body.
5) Man: Your vagina's starting to smell like the Jonas Brothers!
Woman: I have a lack of douche, sorry.
6) Nick Jonas: (in dressing room) Are my pants too tight?
Other Jonas Brother: We're the Jonas Brothers. Of course not!
Joe Jonas: I think I lost my vagina in these pants.
7) Man: I have a burning sensation in my pants, doctor.
Doctor: I'm sorry to report that you have a serious case of the Jonas Brothers.
Man: How long do I have to live?
Doctor: I'm afraid not long. I'd say around three hours. It's that bad.
8) Man: Shit!
Black Man: Shit, it's the Jonas Brothers! RUN!
Jonas Brothers: We're gonna get you, nigga!
9) Jonas Brothers: (on stage dressed as KKK Klansmen) I'm sure glad to be a Jonas Brother! My grandparents would be so proud of us!
|6.||JS Big Pimpin|
This term originated from the greatest pimp of all time, J Sammz, which has come to form multiple meanings:
1) adj. The ultimate level of pimpin'; most superior pimp stage.
2) n.All da wiminz love you because you pimp like Sammz.
3)v.The act of being all trilla fo all day, till you clap all dem bitches and hoes.
In order to fully determine whether you have in fact reached the level of JS Big Pimpin', one must first obtain multiple hoes that are insistent on letting your penis enter their mouths.
1) David: Yo seen trilla, I have reached JS Big Pimpin level. I be fly like JS.
JS: No one is fly as me fool.
2) Wiminz: OMG we love you for being so pimpin like J Sammz. You JS big pimp.
Ronald: I b all trillaed out 2 day, now I am gonna go clap some blond french bitch before I sleep.
Sebastian: Yo u be JS Big Pimpin!
The various stages of not wiping your ass good enough after a shit that breaks off half way.
Stage 1: A simple courtesy wipe will rectify the issue.
Stage 2: You need to get a handful of baby wipes or a durable wash cloth.
Stage 3: Find the closest shower and proceed to clean your ass by letting warm water run down your crack while spreading your ass cheeks apart to dig out the remaining turd.
I need to eat more salsa. Last night I took a shit and the turd broke off half way... It was a bad "Stage 3: Cocoa Butt"