|43.||Fresno City College|
A school-shaped toilet frequented by failed students, drug addicts, single moms, and black people whom attempt to get a quality education.
On average, a 6 Year Institution for a 2 year diploma (equivalent to toilet paper in the working world).
Classrooms are smaller than your average washcloset, yet are often filled with more Mexicans than the DMV.
21.4% Chance of getting raped after 6:00 p.m.; unfortunately, there are only 4 Emergency Call Stations on campus.
With 28,000 students, parking is harder to find than someone who actually knows how to spell "College".
City life in Fresno, California is more bland than one of Dane Cook's comedy specials.
Fresno City College frequently mirrors the zoo, as you'll often be matriculating with chimpanzees and chihuahuas that are just as likely to throw their feces or hump your leg.
Nicole: Hey, should I go to Fresno City College next year; I want a good job?
Christina: You could... Or you could start working your way up the McDonald's coporate ladder, as you'll end up there anyway after graduation.
John: Dude, why don't you go to City next year?
Alex: Why don't I just go to prison and get anally raped half as much.
Sam: Kelly, I'm gonig to Frseno City next year!!!
Kelly: Wow, if I had a nickel for every successful person to graduate from City, I'd have two nickels.
1. Everthing that can go wrong, will go wrongmore...
2. All Warranties will expire upon payment of invoice
4. Friends come and Go, but enemies accumulate
12. If you try and please everybody noone will like it
14. You will always find something in the last place you look
15. The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet
20. Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought
21. If you fool around with a thing for very long, you will screw it up
22. A $300.00 picture tube will protect a 10c fuse by blowing first
24. Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact centre
25. The repairman would have never seen a model quite like yours before
26. When a broken appliance is demonstrated fot the repairman, it will work perfectly
30. Everybody has a scheme for getting rich that will not work
35. You will remember that you forgot to take out the garbage when the garbage truck is 2 doors away
37. Theres never a time to do it right, but thers always time to do it over
39. Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening
47. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
50. Never play leapfrog with a unicorn
52. If everybody seems to be going well, you obviously dont know what the hell is going on
54. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing
55. Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference
A Shitty football team that will blow a huge lead any day of the week.
1. In 2003, Kerry Collins and the NY Giants had a 24 point over the San Francisco 49ers. They lost the game 39-38 to Jeff Garcia and the San Francisco 49ers. And if you did not notice, Jeff Garcia is a horrible Quarterback.
2. In 2010, Eli Manning nd the NY Giants had a 21 point lead over the Philadelphia Eagles at Halftime and and after a pair of split touchdowns, still had a 21 point lead with 8 minutes to play. They Ultimately lost 38-31 after the Eagles scored 28 4th Quarter points in 8:00 minutes. BTW Eagles are in the Playoff Sucka!
O and BTW, you may have beaten Brady in the Superbowl when you had your chance, but our future is brighter than yours with Michael Vick as Quarterback.
Super Disease made by the U.S. Government, combining Anthrax and Aids, No cure or antidote. Will be released over Time Square at precisely 12:00 PM December 21 2012.
The Anthraids infection burned the mans skin off and boiled his blood.
1. To post an extremely awkward comment on someones wall or photo on facebook, thus abruptly stopping any previous comments or conversations on that thread.
2. When someone with no life makes a comment on facebook that is so awkward that no one wants to respond or comment after it, making the thread inactive or dead.
6:20- Bob: hey man that pic from last night?
6:21- James: yeah man sicker nights were had
6:21- Nick: Hey you guys when was this? How come i didn't here about any of this going on?
11:00- Fred: way to dead thread the photo dude
Hilary: so I was talking to that guy I like last night on facebook and some awkward bitch made a total dead thread comment.
Carey: aww that sucks what a mood kill!
A large number. Comes after quadrillion.
It has 21 zeros
quint- (“five”) + -illion; ie the fifth power of a million, 10.30.
After Quintillion comes sextillion, then septillion ect.
The "Philosopher's Drug" is the metaphorical drug that affects the mind of those that are philosophical or psychologically analytic. The drug cannot be induced by any means that a regular drug could. The drug is stored within philosophers' cerebral cortex (a part of the brain that partakes in the process of reasoning and logic).
The stored drug is then released between the times 9:00 PM - 12:00 AM. The drug enhances philosophers' ability to reason and allow them to trudge through the most unrealistic debates. The drug wears off at 12:00 AM due to lack of resources. The cerebral cortex then begins to regenerate and store "the Philosopher's Drug" for the next 21 hours, before releasing it in the philosophers' blood stream for another (approximate) three hours the next night.
The Philosopher's Drug only applies to those who are considered philosophical. There is no "self-diagnosis" to having or not having this drug. It takes another mind to determine whether your cerebral cortex produces the drug or not. Once determined, the decision is final.
Mark, stop talking about all this "new age of enlightenment" crap, it's the philosopher's drug kicking in.