A school-shaped toilet frequented by failed students, drug addicts, single moms, and black people whom attempt to get a quality education.

On average, a 6 Year Institution for a 2 year diploma (equivalent to toilet paper in the working world).

Classrooms are smaller than your average washcloset, yet are often filled with more Mexicans than the DMV.

21.4% Chance of getting raped after 6:00 p.m.; unfortunately, there are only 4 Emergency Call Stations on campus.

With 28,000 students, parking is harder to find than someone who actually knows how to spell "College".

City life in Fresno, California is more bland than one of Dane Cook's comedy specials.

Fresno City College frequently mirrors the zoo, as you'll often be matriculating with chimpanzees and chihuahuas that are just as likely to throw their feces or hump your leg.

1. Everthing that can go wrong, will go wrong
2. All Warranties will expire upon payment of invoice
4. Friends come and Go, but enemies accumulate
12. If you try and please everybody noone will like it
14. You will always find something in the last place you look
15. The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet
20. Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought
21. If you fool around with a thing for very long, you will screw it up
22. A $300.00 picture tube will protect a 10c fuse by blowing first
24. Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact centre
25. The repairman would have never seen a model quite like yours before
26. When a broken appliance is demonstrated fot the repairman, it will work perfectly
30. Everybody has a scheme for getting rich that will not work
35. You will remember that you forgot to take out the garbage when the garbage truck is 2 doors away
37. Theres never a time to do it right, but thers always time to do it over
39. Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening
47. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
50. Never play leapfrog with a unicorn
52. If everybody seems to be going well, you obviously dont know what the hell is going on
54. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing
55. Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference

A Shitty football team that will blow a huge lead any day of the week.

Super Disease made by the U.S. Government, combining Anthrax and Aids, No cure or antidote. Will be released over Time Square at precisely 12:00 PM December 21 2012.

1. To post an extremely awkward comment on someones wall or photo on facebook, thus abruptly stopping any previous comments or conversations on that thread.

2. When someone with no life makes a comment on facebook that is so awkward that no one wants to respond or comment after it, making the thread inactive or dead.

A large number. Comes after quadrillion.
It has 21 zeros
1,00,000,000,000,000,000,000

quint- (“five”) + -illion; ie the fifth power of a million, 10.30.

The "Philosopher's Drug" is the metaphorical drug that affects the mind of those that are philosophical or psychologically analytic. The drug cannot be induced by any means that a regular drug could. The drug is stored within philosophers' cerebral cortex (a part of the brain that partakes in the process of reasoning and logic).

The stored drug is then released between the times 9:00 PM - 12:00 AM. The drug enhances philosophers' ability to reason and allow them to trudge through the most unrealistic debates. The drug wears off at 12:00 AM due to lack of resources. The cerebral cortex then begins to regenerate and store "the Philosopher's Drug" for the next 21 hours, before releasing it in the philosophers' blood stream for another (approximate) three hours the next night.

The Philosopher's Drug only applies to those who are considered philosophical. There is no "self-diagnosis" to having or not having this drug. It takes another mind to determine whether your cerebral cortex produces the drug or not. Once determined, the decision is final.