1.If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your life.
2.Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
3.If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.
4.Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
5.Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
6.Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
7.Jack Bauer’s favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
8. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
9.If Jack says “I just want to talk to him/her” and that him/her is you… well amigo, you’re fucked.
10.Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
11.Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
12.If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don’t want to get 7 stars.
13.When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
14.Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he’s knocked out or temporarily killed.
15.If you are still conscious, it is because Jack Bauer doesn’t want to carry you.
16.Jack Bauer h...

Dude 1: What's all this about the "Chicken Curse"?

Dude 2: THIS IS SOUTH CAROLINA FOOTBALL
Following the 2003 season South Carolina has an all-time winning percentage under .500 (494-502-44), which ranks 88th all-time in D-1A football...only 29 programs have been worse. A few of the notable football programs who have been better than the Gamecocks include such powerhouses as: Duke, Western Michigan, Toledo, Navy, UAB, Central Florida, Ball St., North Texas, Nevada, East Carolina, Houston, Northern Illinois, Utah St., San Jose St., Vanderbilt, Akron, Baylor, UNLV, Kansas, and Rutgers just to name a few. This is Carolina Gamecock football.

In the 59 seasons Carolina has been affiliated with a conference, they have won that conference once...the ACC in 1969, with a 7-4 record. Since the Associated Press began ranking football teams in 1936, the Cocks have finished in the Top 20 of the rankings only five times in the 67 years. Carolina has never finished in the Top 10 of a major recognized poll...NEVER. The first year of Gamecock football was in 1892, Carolina won its first bowl game 103 years later under BRAD SCOTT. In 109 seasons of football, Carolina has yet to participate in one of the “Big 5” Bowls (Rose, Sugar, Orange, Fiesta, Cotton). Guess what? As Carolina is set to begin its 110th season of collegiate football, they have won 10 or more games in a single season once. In 110 seasons, Carolina has won more games than it lost only 50 times. In 110 seasons, Carolin...