a poorly written book written by stephanie meyer. the entire twilight saga is this way. the books are incredibly addicting but lack and originality. millions of teenage girls have become obsessed with WORDS! for example: edward- he is a made-up vampire that falls in love with an other made-up character, bella swan. HE IS FICTIONAL! he will never fall in love with you, you will never meet him, and if you do, i have a wonderful therapist that lives down my road in sure she would love to chat with you.
jacob: a werewolf that also falls in love with bella. in my opinion, he is the most down-to-earth out od the twilight guys. scratch that, besides charlie, he is the most down to earth of them all.
and with that bella: a phsyco, klutzy, new, very plain, highschooler that falls in love with the 'bad guy' *how Cliché!* everytime edward even touches her, she starts hyperventalating and almost has a fu**in heart attack. i mean COME ON! could you be more OBSESSED!?
all in all... this book has no depth... every other sentance is describing edward's smile, hair, or eyes. it is just sickening but addictive.
kudos to SM... this is one girl who got infected with twilight fever
Mrs. Cullen 1: I love Edward!! He's so hawt!!
Mrs. Cullen 2: He's MINE!
*horrible cat fight starts*
*Mrs. Cullen 1 gets violentliy b**** slapped*
Mrs. Cullen 2: Edward's MINE! YES!
Victoria Fanboy: Who do you think you are BELLA SWAN?
*more b---- slapping*
Victoria Fanboy: HAHAHA now it's time to find all of the Jacob-Lovers
*Mrs. Blacks 1,2,3,4,5,and 6 all hide*
Mr. Werewolf: OH NO YOU DON'T! YOU CAN'T HURT MY FAN CLUB!
*Victoria Fanboy gets beat up and shoved in locker*
Mrs. Blacks 1,2,3,4,5,and 6: *loving sigh*
One of the my teenagers out there who hs been brainwashed by the book, Twilight.
Symptoms may include: Begging for an imaginary vampire to marry them, biting random people, wasting a shit load of cash on twilight merch that has invaded hot topic, losing a social life due to reading the book over and over again and living in a fantasy, obsessing over any guy named "Edward" or "Jacob", tantrums about how things in the book turned out or when people make fun of the book, wishing death upon fictional character Bella swam, refering to their spouse as "edward" or "bella" or asking their spouse if they happen to be a vampire in disguise.
Twilight Zombie: "OMG!! I want to marry Edward Cullen! He's so gorgeous!"
Twilight Zombie #2: "Back off, he's MINEEEE!!!!!!111"
A poorly written piece of literature that somehow ended on the Bestsellers list. Composed in a four-set series (soon to be five), the saga follows the difficulties that Mary-Sue (Bella Swan) and Gary-Stu (Edward Cullen) expirience day-to-day.
Gary-Stu is a "dazzling", "mezmerizing", "god-like", one hundred-year-old vampire that lusts for Mary's blood. He is known to be the most beautiful creature alive, indestructable, and so fast he is a mere blur whenever he moves. However, he posses horrible, overreactive, bi-polar and manic traits that often makes the reader ponder his eccentric mood swings.
Mary-Stu, the epitome of "beautiful", is the whiny, self-centered, retortful and shallow heroine of the novels. Despite having a daughter of her own, a gorgeous, loving and selfless husband, a few cars, becoming a vampire, and a fantastic family, she is never satisfied. She has been revealed as a sex-addict.
tl;dr: The Twilight saga is nothing but horrible moral values of teenage girls, a jackpot of cliches, and 600+ pages of uneducated literature. To save a liveful of regret, please refrain from reading the series.
If you would like to read real literature, invest in classic works, such as Charles Dickens or Anna Sewell. 21st-century writers include: James Patterson, J.K. Rowling, or Cornelia Funke; all three are successful writers with real, professional talent.
"Isn't Twilight such a fantastic book?"
"I beg to differ. The entire series has more shit than a medieval cesspool."
" . . . Lol. Wut?"
"What I mean is, this: Any person with half-a-brain would drop it immediately. I ought to know."
Twilight muffins are these really nasty muffins the muffinman bakes. They were originally designed to poison kings or queens whenever the plebians became upset. Now they are just used to make people think stalking is a form of admiration.
"Tom became such a Twilight-Muffin when she started stalking that new girl in class"
A book. Just a book. A not-so-special book about a teenage girl who falls in love with a vampire. But people take it to THE EXTREME!!! On the day the Twilight movie came out in England (December 19th 2007) EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE (excluding myself) went to see it on the day it came out.more...
Normally people accosiated vampires with Gothic novel. And according to a magazine that I read, it said that 'Twilight is a gothic novel where Bella Swan falls head over heels for the hot boy' WTF?? It is not Gothic at all!! No old haunted mansion, no bats, no PROPER vampires!! And how can you fall head over heels for someone, when we are, in fact, like that anyway??
Now, I admit that I read it when I am unbelievably (sp?) bored, and I do sort of blush a bit when Bella and Edward are talking or something,and I do like it's squeal, New Moon, because Bella is not all gooey over Edward, and hangs around with the werewolf, Jacob, who is, in my opinon, much hotter than Bella.
Also, LOADS of flaws:
Flaw 1: Vampires do not sparkle in the sun
Flaw 2: Vampires sleep in coffins during the day
Flaw 3: Vampires have fangs
Also, in Breaking Dawn (which I put down halfway due to it beng so unplausable)Edward bites Bella to make her into a vampire, yet in Twilight, he claims he has no fangs... How does he bite her if he has no fangs??
If you want to read a gothic novel, try Charlotte Brontes Jane Eyre. Real love, real gothic.
the twilight saga was Stephenie Meyers way of trying to indoctrinate little girls minds by building them up with false hope i.e. an 'edward cullen', and making them go all hypified so that no guys will ever find a 'normal' girl.
thanks stephenie, for the twilight saga. how about next time you write a book with a much more moral meaning and take over the world with that? lets start with a book on healthy eating perhaps???
Probably the worst series of books,more...
that later turned into one of the worst movie, ever created.
The story revolves around the protagonist Bella Swan, who is the average every day MaryJane new girl in town, with not-so-special looks, and personality.
But dispite all of that, the most inhumanely gorgeous boy, Edward Cullen, catches interest in her. That is just one of the many cliches displayed in this book.
Another being that he is a vampire who thirsts the most for Bella's blood, yet ironically loves her.
Woah, no one saw any of this coming. I could hardly stomache reading it. Every other sentance is describing Edward's perfect face, and body, and whatever, which leads me to believe Stephenie Meyer has some severe issues living in a sad fantasy to escape the reality she didn't marry someone like that.
Though I did not read the last one, I was told Edward and Bella have sex and produce some kind of mutant half vampire half human offspring. Which furthers Stephenie's perversions. It's a teen book for god's sake, keep that shit to yourself.
The fact that the book is about an average everyday girl like most of us, who finds the perfect boy is the perfect ploy to bring in naive lonely tween girls to purchase this horrible cliche book.
Though dispite how truely awful, and lacking in any literary devices it is, it was turned into a movie. Which proved that the movie industry has gone to shit.
The acting was nothing special, and the scenes moved so fast it seemed unreal....