Jesus is the most loyal man on earth, he has not and will not cheat on his girlfriend PERIOD
I wish my boyfriend was as loyal as Jesus
by Soccerslife17 December 22, 2018
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A guy who dresses in all white that gives people free drugs and knows everything about drugs and cannot die.
Jesus Give me drugs.

Jesus come chill.
by jesus'sfriend December 3, 2007
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John Cornelius O'Callaghan V, lead singer of the band The Maine as of July 3, 2010. see twitter.com/johnmaine for proof
MM: I asked The Maine to hold me down!
DK: Why?
MM: Because Jesus is their singer!
by discipleK July 3, 2010
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The guys who loves you when everybody else thinks you're an asshole
Jesus loves you..., but everybody else thinks you're an asshole
by badmanjose July 23, 2015
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The Lord and Savior of the world. I wish all of those who mock him on this site eventually find what he was and what he said was all true...
"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, so that whoever believes in him shall not die but have eternal life." - John 3:16
by ILoveJesus September 22, 2004
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Some holy guy with a cool beard
Wasn’t Jesus that one guy who fucking died and came back to life
by Dog muncher123 November 3, 2018
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(This definition coming from a Jew) May or may not be the son of God, but still a good guy with a straight message. But his messages were horribly misinterpreted by millions to mean that if you don't believe in him, then you are a sinner and must be attacked until you accept his religion, actually not his religion, his followers religions (Jesus was jewish). Eventually was nailed to a piece of wood and killed by Romans. Apperantly resurrected, (which in present day we celebrate by painting eggs, wtf!?). And uhh, I don't remember the rest, well that parts not important. Anyway, his message was get along. Christians need to chill with that high and mighty shit.
Jesus: Get along
Hitler: Kill Jews? Okay!
Jesus: No you retards!
by 187withmydickinyourmouth April 17, 2010
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