When a guy talks up his game, claiming he can hit it hard and fast, but when it comes down to it, fucks no better than a turtle.
Friend 1: "Hey! How was last night?"
Friend 2: "It was absolutely awful! He kept telling me how hard he wanted to fuck me, but then he was like a turtle, moving so slow! There's no other way to explain it besides Turtle Sex."
Friend 2: "It was absolutely awful! He kept telling me how hard he wanted to fuck me, but then he was like a turtle, moving so slow! There's no other way to explain it besides Turtle Sex."
by snowspy April 18, 2011
The act of having sexual intercourse, turtle style. This involves the woman bent over, with the man bent on top of her entering her from behind. It is best accompanied by high-pitched frightening moans coming from either person.
girl 1 "last night me and mike were dancing, and he bent over on top of me! It was so arousing!"
girl 2 "looks like it was your first time having turtle sex!"
girl 2 "looks like it was your first time having turtle sex!"
by turtlemaster1234 March 3, 2010
When you hold you lover down on the bed by their crotch using your hand in a claw shaped almost hook position and watch them struggle to get free with their arms and legs waving like an upside down Turtle.
Today I had turtle sex with my girlfriend. She couldn't stop laughing and I was taking bets mentally to guess if she was going to pee her pants or get turned on.
by k. c. irtap January 22, 2008
to masturbate with a turtle object
Such as a turtle pencil, stuffed turtle, turtle keychain, a real turtle.
Such as a turtle pencil, stuffed turtle, turtle keychain, a real turtle.
by keggerthebegger January 12, 2008
by DanKuren April 20, 2016
by Mr.MasterShake January 11, 2016
adjective:
1. The act of having turtle sex, hillbilly style.
2. A sexual position with the male crouching and the woman laying face down under a coffee table with her waist lifted slightly off the ground, while the man holds a wiffle ball bat used to whack the woman over the head whenever she pops it out from the opposite side of the table.
1. The act of having turtle sex, hillbilly style.
2. A sexual position with the male crouching and the woman laying face down under a coffee table with her waist lifted slightly off the ground, while the man holds a wiffle ball bat used to whack the woman over the head whenever she pops it out from the opposite side of the table.
"Man, she was ugly as shit but I was fresh out of bags, so we just had hillbilly turtle sex instead. It's the best kind of hate sex, too! It turns out a wiffle ball bat leaves no marks. She won't admit it after the fact, but I know she liked it."
by SirDeity August 28, 2011